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MattRoseen

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MattRoseen

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 6 January 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1965
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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MattRoseen's page activity

Visits<b>Ari3l</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 8:17pm<b>tigerborn69</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 3:54pm<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 11:17pm<b>Jose2018</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 2:31pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 1:07am<b>RedNinjaTurtle</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 1:25am<b>delude</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 2:54am<b>byefelicia1992</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 11:31pm<b>Little_Abdy</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 11:54am<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 5:18pm<b>keymustang</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 7:42am<b>Amo1216</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 12:06am<b>AChristenson</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 10:55am<b>Lupin_III</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 10:18pm<b>WockaFloctapus</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 2:40am<b>niatross</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 10:41pm<b>tiernang</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 9:15am<b>luxlarius</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 1:13am

MattRoseen's FML badges

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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MattRoseen's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31530) - you deserved it (6539)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31530) - you deserved it (6539)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his parents. My boyfriend is Japanese, and I wanted to introduce myself in Japanese so I'd asked him. Little did I know he'd taught me how to say, "Hello, I love your son's cock." I almost got kicked out of their house. FML

#20075207
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28588) - you deserved it (3782)

On 09/16/2012 at 8:50pm - love - by painfetish8021 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I invited my boyfriend to his first dinner out with my family. As my older brother was discussing the injuries he'd received while working as a tow truck driver, my innocent 10 year old brother piped up saying he should see what I did to my boyfriend's back with my nails. FML

Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML

#20070089
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23768) - you deserved it (3882)

On 09/13/2012 at 10:31am - kids - by PissOffPottermore (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44638) - you deserved it (3893)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I figured out how serious my weight problem really is when my boyfriend had to lift a fat roll before he could enter me. FML

#20067540
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12967) - you deserved it (52885)

On 09/11/2012 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by gemma - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML

#20060710
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20363) - you deserved it (8723)

On 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm - love - by WaxOnWaxOff - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

Today, my boyfriend got a hotel room with a jacuzzi, drinks, and tickets to Six Flags for my birthday. He is currently passed out drunk on the other side of the bed, cursing me out in his sleep. FML

#20031154
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21291) - you deserved it (2290)

On 08/20/2012 at 1:00am - misc - by anon (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got into an argument with my girlfriend over how many sides a triangle has. I actually ended up drawing her a diagram. FML

#20029320
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24015) - you deserved it (3751)

On 08/19/2012 at 1:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML

#20026176
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28394) - you deserved it (6157)

On 08/17/2012 at 9:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying and getting laid. When I finally escaped the testosterone and got home, the first thing I heard was my grandpa telling my dad all about how he once fisted a girl to orgasm. FML

#20023096
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32143) - you deserved it (2688)

On 08/15/2012 at 6:52pm - intimacy - by what the FUCK (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14809) - you deserved it (38491)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

#20012782
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29783) - you deserved it (16408)

On 08/10/2012 at 1:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Europe



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