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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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MattR

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MattR
  • Town/Country : Northern , New Jersey, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 February 1995 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 21804
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About MattR : RAWR

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

MattR's favorite FMLs

Today, a cab driver had to sign me out of the emergency room because I didn't know who else to call. FML

#1962325 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (41564) - you deserved it (2729)

On 05/15/2009 at 12:35pm - health - by ccc (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in my art class we had to paint a nude portrait of a fat, old woman. About halfway through the piece, and while painting her fat rolls, I realized she was the only person other than myself I had ever seen naked. FML

#1961143 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (31061) - you deserved it (5159)

On 05/15/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by artclasstrauma (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was home on leave and having breakfast with my parents and my younger brothers. I guess I got too used to the rougher language around the Army barracks where I'm stationed. At the breakfast table I asked my Mom to "pass me the f***ing butter". FML

#1929776 (264)

I agree, your life sucks (19261) - you deserved it (47832)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I scored two prime baseball tickets from a supplier at work. I phoned my dad to tell him the good news. He said that's great, my brother and him would love to see the game. I said, no, I'm taking you to the game. He told me I was being selfish and hung up the phone. FML

#1926739 (174)

I agree, your life sucks (51993) - you deserved it (1603)

On 05/14/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by Hank (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to Ralph's to get bread and a snack. While paying, an 80 year old lady, in a walker, took my bag while I wasn't watching. That's right, I got jacked by an 80 year old in a walker. FML

#1866289 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (43162) - you deserved it (5905)

On 05/12/2009 at 2:55am - misc - by iJason (man) - United States (California)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped grabbed the ball for the kid and started to hand it to him. He then yelled "Stranger Danger" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30mins. FML

#1864532 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (47643) - you deserved it (1811)

On 05/12/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by TheJoker (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided I didn't care about my pride, and so I asked this girl out in a text. After an hour of no responce I asked again. Later I got a text saying, "I'm sorry, This is Emily's mom. Emily isn't here at the moment, but if I were you, I wouldn't ask again." I was rejected by her mom. FML

#1858879 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (41770) - you deserved it (11171)

On 05/11/2009 at 9:25pm - love - by ConnorFails (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I walked into Best Buy to buy a 42" widescreen TV I'd been saving up for many months. As I walked in, a man stopped me and handed me my wallet that I'd accidentally dropped. I thanked him. 5 minutes later at the checkout, I opened up my wallet to realize it was empty. He had stolen everything. FML

#1852747 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (42877) - you deserved it (7560)

On 05/11/2009 at 7:14pm - money - by omgfmlhard (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, it's the five year anniversary of my father's death. I was cuddling with my boyfriend and crying about how much I missed him. He replied with, "Sometimes, I think you just like to hear yourself talk." FML

#1845741 (336)

I agree, your life sucks (69397) - you deserved it (6923)

On 05/11/2009 at 3:46pm - misc - by bezoar10 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that the guy i've been having sex with for over a month didn't know my name until today. No wonder he always ever called me 'baby.' FML

#1716313 (195)

I agree, your life sucks (26801) - you deserved it (51140)

On 05/07/2009 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by ummPORQUE (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finished my SAT and was feeling pretty good about it. I decided to turn on my phone, since it was on silent. As the guy was collecting our tests, my phone vibrated a little. My score was cancelled. It was a text from my mom reminding me to turn off my phone. FML

#1563440 (242)

I agree, your life sucks (15662) - you deserved it (56451)

On 05/02/2009 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

#1550190 (368)

I agree, your life sucks (111549) - you deserved it (26054)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

#1550059 (254)

I agree, your life sucks (16786) - you deserved it (167634)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:21am - health - by breathalizard (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, trying to make my 6 year old daughter to laugh, I drew a picture of a butt, a puff of air coming out and the word "toot". My daughter thought it extremely funny. Later, when she was talking with my extremely judgmental mother-in-law, I heard her say "daddy taught me how to draw butts." FML

#1453459 (92)

I agree, your life sucks (14494) - you deserved it (34744)

On 04/29/2009 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at work I grabbed some customer keys off the board. I was checking out their cool flashlight keychain. At the exact moment I realized it wasn't a keychain, I pepper sprayed myself directly in the right eye. FML

#1415405 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (10591) - you deserved it (46837)

On 04/28/2009 at 3:47am - work - by jdubious (man) - United States

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.