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MattOnFML

Offline (the 09/05/2014 at 5:44pm) | Search for a member

MattOnFML

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5964
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About MattOnFML : Just a kid from NY

MattOnFML's page activity

Visits<b>sammy1021</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 5:03pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 1:36am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 6:20pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 8:42pm<b>fk18</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 5:42pm<b>1992yoko</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 5:45pm<b>amulya</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 4:48pm<b>thrlyrist</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 11:24am<b>roselyn_davis</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 11:09am<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 1:36am<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 8:03pm<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 12:15pm<b>Dodge4x4Ram</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 5:56pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 11:49am<b>sarcasticlover</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 12:12pm<b>Taytochill23</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 3:37pm<b>heathermartini88</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 1:30am<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 12:12pm

MattOnFML's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of MattOnFML's badges

MattOnFML's favorite FMLs

Today, I came out of the closet. Now whenever I'm getting ready to go somewhere with my dad he says, "Lesgo, lesbo." FML

#20876692
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54548) - you deserved it (12208)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:17am - misc - by spiritbeast33 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I hooked up with the guy I've liked for a while, even though my friends joked that his large pickup truck meant that he was "compensating" for having a small penis. They were right. Very right. FML

#20876171
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53223) - you deserved it (11586)

On 09/10/2013 at 8:14pm - intimacy - by CityBoysNow - United States (Missouri)

Today, I tried to get my golden retriever to stand in front of our church for a very short time to illustrate the point of a sermon. When I brought my dog up, he mounted the pastor's leg and began humping him. FML

#20873553
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36290) - you deserved it (8724)

On 09/08/2013 at 9:42pm - animals - by sillydoggy - United States

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

#20872880
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49569) - you deserved it (3174)

On 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML

Today, while working at Home Depot, I was asked to cut some wire. When I asked her how much, she said, "From my computer to the wall". After explaining for a while that I didn't know how far that is, she left. FML

Today, I went to my first class of the year. The first thing the teacher said was, "I hate this f*cking school." FML

#20867651
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34372) - you deserved it (2655)

On 09/04/2013 at 4:39pm - misc - by swana99 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML

#20867471
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39552) - you deserved it (6681)

On 09/04/2013 at 1:28pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

#20865525
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42376) - you deserved it (4699)

On 09/03/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I moved into my new place. It evidently used to belong to a hooker, because although I've only lived here for 9 hours, so far several different men have knocked on my door and asked if "Stephanie" is available for a good time. FML

#20861348
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44779) - you deserved it (2805)

On 08/31/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Redbridge)

Today, I found out I was 13th in a graduating class of about 350 students. When I told my mother, without batting an eye, she told me, "Hey, shit floats". FML

#20859797
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38612) - you deserved it (2591)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:11am - work - by Parental Support - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" and I'm 26. Truth is, I've been in the same relationship for over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML

#20859482
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59798) - you deserved it (6646)

On 08/29/2013 at 8:48pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my barber repeatedly threatened to stab me with scissors while I was getting my hair cut. FML

#20858870
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36589) - you deserved it (4042)

On 08/29/2013 at 3:39am - misc - by oD_Ronan (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I announced my engagement. My mother's response was to freak out and demand that I postpone my wedding indefinitely. Why? My younger sister caught the bouquet at a wedding last year, so "she has to get married first!" My sister has been single for 3 years and showers once a week. FML

#20858539
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48858) - you deserved it (2576)

On 08/28/2013 at 10:21pm - love - by marryinghimanyway (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was fired when a customer called corporate, saying I was unprofessional and rude. The "customer" in question was my little sister, who I would not let buy beer with a fake ID. FML



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