About MattOnFML : Just a kid from NY
MattOnFML's FML badges
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
MattOnFML's favorite FMLs
Today, my gran came over for dinner, for which I had to go grab some supplies from the supermarket. I guess I should have locked my laptop, because when I came back, I found my gran had used my Facebook account to propose to my now-ecstatic girlfriend. FML
by my gran is a cuntwaffle / 09/26/2013 at 4:36pm / United Kingdom / Love
Today, I learned that an antidepressant that works too well is a stimulant. I've been jittering and twitching like a meth-head, and my co-workers are asking when Jesse will be showing up with my "stuff". FML
by CancerFdMyLife / 09/26/2013 at 9:50am / United States (District of Columbia) / Health
by anotherfmladdict / 09/26/2013 at 3:06am / United States (Iowa) / Kids
Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML
by Craigslist is Evil. / 09/24/2013 at 2:12pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/23/2013 at 2:15am / United States (California) / Work
Today, I started shaking my son's Little Bill doll in frustration, as the batteries weren't working. My nosy neighbor saw through the window and called the cops. They wouldn't believe me and now the whole neighborhood thinks I'm a child abuser. FML
by baddad / 09/23/2013 at 12:44am / United States / Kids
by soannoyed / 09/22/2013 at 5:21pm / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/21/2013 at 2:10pm / United States / Love
Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML
by oops / 09/20/2013 at 9:30pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 7:44pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 6:52pm / United States / Money
Today, I called work crying, telling them that I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow due to my grandmother's sudden and tragic death. After hanging up, I walked into the midnight release of Grand Theft Auto 5. I had no idea my boss was also an avid gamer. FML
by fired / 09/17/2013 at 12:36am / United States (Georgia) / Work
Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, my psycho girlfriend tried to blackmail me into giving her money, threatening to show everyone the nude pictures I recently sent her. Except the pictures on her phone that she threatened me with weren't even of me. Nice to know I'm also being cheated on. FML
by Anonymous / 09/14/2013 at 4:09pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Love
by Crazy Crazy Crazy / 09/12/2013 at 8:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
- Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the… Today, I found the engagement ring I'd bought and been missing for a week. On my girlfriend's hand.… Today, trying to be sexy I was sucking on my boyfriends fingers. I was really starting to turn him…