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MattOnFML

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MattOnFML

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3366
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About MattOnFML : Just a kid from NY

MattOnFML's page activity

Visits<b>sammy1021</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 5:03pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 1:36am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 6:20pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 8:42pm<b>fk18</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 5:42pm<b>1992yoko</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 5:45pm<b>amulya</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 4:48pm<b>thrlyrist</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 11:24am<b>roselyn_davis</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 11:09am<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 1:36am<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 8:03pm<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 12:15pm<b>Dodge4x4Ram</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 5:56pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 11:49am<b>sarcasticlover</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 12:12pm<b>Taytochill23</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 3:37pm<b>heathermartini88</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 1:30am<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 12:12pm

MattOnFML's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of MattOnFML's badges

MattOnFML's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom made fun of me because I'm 16 and have never had a boyfriend, then bragged that at my age she was already pregnant with me. FML

#20918137
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55422) - you deserved it (3223)

On 10/12/2013 at 9:59pm - misc - by roundtherose - United States (Alaska)

Today, I went home after work with my best friend who I am also secretly in love with. We had a few drinks, were getting touchy, and one thing led to another. Before leaving, I got the courage to ask her out on a real date. Her only reply was, "I don't want to lose such a good friend." FML

Today, trying to be romantic, I started coming on to my wife while in bed, only for her to yet again say she wasn't in the mood. When I asked why she never is lately, she sarcastically blamed it on the government shutdown, then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

#20916670
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51548) - you deserved it (5614)

On 10/11/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by (-__- ) ( ^.^) (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after sending in my passport application for a trip to Paris, I got a letter from the state department saying despite them having my original birth certificate, I don't exist. Upon calling them, I was told that it only proves I'm a citizen, not that I exist. I pay taxes and have a mortgage. FML

#20916188
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42148) - you deserved it (2337)

On 10/11/2013 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML

#20911508
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41442) - you deserved it (3584)

On 10/07/2013 at 8:21pm - misc - by Agax (man) - United States (California)

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57003) - you deserved it (3366)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my new deodorant caused an allergic reaction, covering my armpits in a painful rash. I've had to awkwardly waddle around all day with my arms splayed outwards to get any relief. One customer at work sarcastically mentioned that it's nice that they're hiring penguins these days. FML

#20909610
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39294) - you deserved it (3325)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:40pm - health - by _/ | \_ (woman) - Singapore

Today, I got kicked out of English class shortly after our teacher told us we have to write an essay on how the storyline of Harry Potter is one big allegory for "the futility of socialism." Apparently, reacting with disbelief makes me a "disruptive influence." FML

#20905920
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33911) - you deserved it (3485)

On 10/03/2013 at 12:42pm - misc - by WTF? (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, at the age of 23, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. My father swabbed his mouth for DNA and fingerprinted him. FML

Today, I went with my boyfriend to his church youth group for the first time. I found out a girl there likes him, when she decided to pull me off him while we were hugging, and take my place. FML

#20903481
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42812) - you deserved it (2863)

On 10/01/2013 at 4:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML

#20902425
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44244) - you deserved it (3263)

On 09/30/2013 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61056) - you deserved it (25672)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a girl who's in charge of a group project that I get graded on, asked if Bill Gates was a Founding Father. She was totally serious. I'm screwed. FML

#20900504
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38145) - you deserved it (2461)

On 09/29/2013 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a stranger pulled me out of the path of a speeding taxicab. He then took one look at my face, said, "I should've left you there", and walked away. FML

#20900063
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43233) - you deserved it (4093)

On 09/29/2013 at 1:45am - misc - by -__-" - United States (Washington)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48672) - you deserved it (6364)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)



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