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MattOnFML

Offline (the 09/05/2014 at 5:44pm) | Search for a member

MattOnFML

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8280
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About MattOnFML : Just a kid from NY

MattOnFML's page activity

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MattOnFML's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of MattOnFML's badges

MattOnFML's favorite FMLs

I walkd in on my mom and her friends comparing the differences in their nipples. FML

#17211099
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36206) - you deserved it (3709)

On 07/22/2011 at 12:11am - misc - by oliverP123 - United States (New York)

Today, ma girlfriend's overprotective parents decided tat I'm a bad influence on tere daugter. I'm a straigt A engineering studento openly speaks out against drugs, alcool, and discrimination. Tier reason? Someone told tem I dyed ma air black. Tey tink I'm a "closet Nazi". FML

#17197650
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42398) - you deserved it (3739)

On 07/21/2011 at 12:10am - love - by rbeast (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today , I forcd myself into work with severe laryngitis . Normally this wouldn't be an issue , except I work at candy an ice cream store at a major tourist destination . For seven hours I had to communicate with unsympathetic adults an screaming , bratty kids by miming an using a dry erase board . FML

#17152929
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23758) - you deserved it (7937)

On 07/17/2011 at 7:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML

#17123749
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38846) - you deserved it (7204)

On 07/15/2011 at 3:51pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, as a joke, I hid under mah parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tereing each other's cloths off. I had to keep mah breath in time with mah mom's panting an moaning as mah dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31425) - you deserved it (90674)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)

Today, mah new nieghbor informed me with great relish that the house I have just bought is haunted because 30 years ago a man shot himself in the kitchen. I'm now paying a huge mortgage on a house I'm frightened to be alone in. fat FML

#17104871
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22048) - you deserved it (8288)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:59am - misc - by Boo (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today , after spending 6 monts an $15,000 on lawyer fees at my 13 year old son's request , is abusive , alcoolic fater no longer as any legal rigt to see im. How did my son repay me? He ran away to live wit is fater te very first time I told im e couldn't ave friends sleep over. FML

#17057009
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42553) - you deserved it (7129)

On 07/10/2011 at 8:01pm - kids - by tomcat69 - Canada (Ontario)

Today , my mom cooked her dog some potatoes , carrots , beef , rice and peas . She cooks better food fir her dog than she will fir our family . FML

#17039633
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31492) - you deserved it (3259)

On 07/09/2011 at 10:34am - animals - by iGreen - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son calld me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he droppd it in the toilet. How? Trying to videotape his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML

#16966057
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40276) - you deserved it (5741)

On 07/03/2011 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by WasteOMoney - United States (Texas)

2dayhile I thought mah brother was playing with mah new phone he was actually texting a bunch of mah friends that I have chlamydia. He deletd his texts so I wouldn't see them an I spent a half-hour trying to figure out y I kept getting texts of shock an sympathy. We're both in our 20's. FML

#16945555
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29751) - you deserved it (4286)

On 07/02/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymouse (woman) - United States (Illinois)

yesterday I introducd my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner . He is Asian . My mom insistd on calling him ( Ching Chong ) . His name is Kevin . FML

#16918734
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51350) - you deserved it (4752)

On 06/30/2011 at 3:24am - misc - by asianlover (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I was told that I may die by the time I'm 30, an that I should Google the disorder cuz he doesn't know what it is for sure. FML

#16909207
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39525) - you deserved it (3099)

On 06/29/2011 at 12:44pm - health - by Googleit - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out mah new Commanding Officer is mah ex-wife's new boyfriend. We're going on a two year tour at sea in two weeks. The reason we got a divorce is that she couldn't handle bieng tied down with someone in the Navy. FML

#16882996
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46691) - you deserved it (3030)

On 06/27/2011 at 3:20pm - love - by Drunken Sailor - United States (New York)

Today, a friend posted te Facebook status "A.. . relief." Trying to be funny, I replied "Wy? Did you just poop?" A few ours later, I read er previous posts and found out er dad's in te ospital aving eart surgery . Now everyone tinks I'm a eartless dick . FML

#16867532
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14707) - you deserved it (48054)

On 06/26/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

2day my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom she said she was too busy to talk to me. My sister asked who was on the phone she replied "the dog sitter." FML

#16690008
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32518) - you deserved it (3705)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:25am - animals - by crapped on - United States



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