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MattOnFML

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MattOnFML
  • Town/Country : NY, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1850
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About MattOnFML : Just a kid from NY

MattOnFML's last visitors

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MattOnFML's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of MattOnFML's badges

MattOnFML's favorite FMLs

Today, my 8-year-old came home from school crying. Apparently her teacher told the whole class to write about how they felt when they learned that Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy weren't real. FML

#20942077
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49596) - you deserved it (4413)

On 11/02/2013 at 12:19am - kids - by SantaClaus - United States (California)

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78748) - you deserved it (4549)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today, some kid asked me if I was Mexican. After I explained to him that I was actually Venezuelan, he simply snorted and said, "That's the same f*cking thing. If you speak Spanish then you're Mexican." FML

#20939700
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44127) - you deserved it (4792)

On 10/30/2013 at 10:59pm - misc - by Rinelric1998 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom got drunk at our family reunion and told everyone how worried she is that my "excessive masturbation" would damage the nerves in both my dick and arm. FML

#20939123
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42894) - you deserved it (7341)

On 10/30/2013 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by goodgrief (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was refereeing a soccer match and I called a foul. An angry coach kept screaming at me, saying "You're crazy!" I asked him to leave the field. As he left, he lifted his middle finger and screamed, "FUCK YOU!" I ref 5-year-olds. FML

#20937864
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41487) - you deserved it (2647)

On 10/29/2013 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I failed hard at a color test. I thought it was a joke because most of the colors looked the same to me. Now I know why people laugh at my clothes color choices. FML

#20936339
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43305) - you deserved it (2970)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:51am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML

#20933730
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50111) - you deserved it (8586)

On 10/25/2013 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Dick the Greater (man) -

Today, during parent/teacher conferences, my mom told my Chemistry teacher that I have an intense crush on him. There are still 7 months left in the school year. FML

#20930913
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44218) - you deserved it (3935)

On 10/23/2013 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I decided to try LSD with a few friends in a safe environment. As an artist, I had planned to spend my trip doing psychedelic paintings and had all my supplies set up. Apparently I spent most of my time in fetal position muttering about the "evil easel" and never even touched my canvas. FML

#20930479
333 comments

Today, I got a call from an angry parent telling me that I'm teaching her son and the other children in the class "wrong philosophies". This was all because I explained to the class that Michigan is divided into two parts. FML

#20930470
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33411) - you deserved it (2007)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:02pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as a science teacher, I did a science experiment in front of a class. One of my students asked me if it was "photoshopped." He was being serious. FML

#20930096
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40990) - you deserved it (2718)

On 10/22/2013 at 10:24am - kids - by jdawn99 - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was assigned to fill in for a French teacher who was out sick. I had asked the class to name some French-speaking countries. I called on one girl and she replied, "Uh, Europe. That's, like, the only other one, right?" Nobody disagreed. I'm filling in for the rest of the month. FML

#20929522
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39606) - you deserved it (2457)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:40pm - work - by :| - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the kid next to me asked me, in all seriousness, if gay people have feelings like regular people. I'm gay, and I have to sit next to this barnacle until June. FML

#20929195
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44590) - you deserved it (7572)

On 10/21/2013 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I finally got my driver's permit. To celebrate, my parents decided to go to a bar and make me wait in the car because I'm now the designated driver. FML

#20928623
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41996) - you deserved it (3854)

On 10/21/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my son came home for the fifth time saying he didn't get the job, wondering what he did wrong. I looked at his resumé; under special skills was, "Keeping it real." Apparently he saw it in a movie and thought it would work. FML

#20928390
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37180) - you deserved it (4342)

On 10/21/2013 at 12:18am - kids - by Wheredigowrong - United States (Iowa)



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