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MattOnFML

Offline (the 09/05/2014 at 5:44pm) | Search for a member

MattOnFML

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5335
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About MattOnFML : Just a kid from NY

MattOnFML's page activity

Visits<b>sammy1021</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 5:03pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 1:36am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 6:20pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 8:42pm<b>fk18</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 5:42pm<b>1992yoko</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 5:45pm<b>amulya</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 4:48pm<b>thrlyrist</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 11:24am<b>roselyn_davis</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 11:09am<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 1:36am<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 8:03pm<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 12:15pm<b>Dodge4x4Ram</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 5:56pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 11:49am<b>sarcasticlover</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 12:12pm<b>Taytochill23</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 3:37pm<b>heathermartini88</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 1:30am<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 12:12pm

MattOnFML's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of MattOnFML's badges

MattOnFML's favorite FMLs

Today, my 19-year-old brother subjected me to yet another rant about how the writers of My Little Pony aren't writing the show for people like him any more, the "true fans", otherwise known as pimply-faced adults who don't use deodorant and only shower once a week. FML

#21007374
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35484) - you deserved it (4007)

On 12/27/2013 at 3:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML

#21007355
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45129) - you deserved it (5121)

On 12/27/2013 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Jamaica (Saint Andrew)

Today, my husband and I were arguing about him not communicating anymore. Instead of talking to me about it, he messages my mom to say, "I'm not mentally strong enough to handle her anymore." FML

#20996890
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37933) - you deserved it (5061)

On 12/18/2013 at 11:44am - love - by Iloverainbows10 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mom got pissed off at my doctor and called him a quack. She did this because he reassured her that I don't show any signs of the mental retardation that she's convinced herself I must have. FML

#20993646
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44424) - you deserved it (2916)

On 12/15/2013 at 4:48pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Croatia (Licko-Senjska)

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

#20981890
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39121) - you deserved it (21732)

On 12/05/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by possibly a sweater (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML

#20981063
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45013) - you deserved it (5577)

On 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by KarateKid76 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, playing soccer, I jumped up to make a header and clear the ball away from our goal. I got the ball but some guy kicked me in the face. I was taken off. All the parents were horrified, saying how badly my nose must have broken. Turns out my nose was fine. That's just how my nose looks. FML

#20979759
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36948) - you deserved it (2739)

On 12/03/2013 at 9:03pm - health - by supras (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Today, while giving speech in class, I choked on my own spit and had a coughing fit while everyone stared at me intently. When I finally regained my composure, my teacher told me my time was up and to sit down. I hadn't even got finished the first paragraph. FML

#20979319
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38146) - you deserved it (3738)

On 12/03/2013 at 12:28pm - health - by wheezy - United States (Mississippi)

Today, concerned about my daughter's recent behavior, I looked through her web browser history. I found web searches for information on how to make a bomb to blow up a "horse". I'm not sure if she's illiterate, but either way it seems I need to get her some help. FML

#20977212
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39328) - you deserved it (3804)

On 12/01/2013 at 4:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my ex's mom got a job as our new soccer coach and recognized me from our New Year's party last year. She made me, and me alone, do 10 laps around the field in the rain for breaking her son's heart. FML

#20971434
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47709) - you deserved it (11676)

On 11/26/2013 at 3:00pm - love - by Amanda (woman) - United States

Today, my workplace had a big employee photoshoot for an ad campaign. I was there all of 30 seconds before the photographer said, "What the fuck? Look guys, this ain't an ad for facial abortions." He then asked me and another colleague to step out of the shot. FML

#20969207
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43934) - you deserved it (3436)

On 11/24/2013 at 4:38pm - work - by fuggers :/ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

#20958646
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40680) - you deserved it (2732)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland

Today, I watched my mother tell a man that the holocaust was "a good thing" and "necessary for population control". That man was my girlfriend's father. Who is Jewish. FML

#20958610
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50729) - you deserved it (3301)

On 11/15/2013 at 11:59am - misc - by Colby - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my mom showed my girlfriend a picture of me crying when I pooped in the bathtub. FML

#20955466
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39890) - you deserved it (4721)

On 11/12/2013 at 6:57pm - love - by icyrebel25 - United States (Texas)



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