About MattOnFML : Just a kid from NY
MattOnFML's FML badges
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
MattOnFML's favorite FMLs
Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume over and over, and in different languages. I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go". FML
by fuckyouharddad / 04/15/2014 at 3:24pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, while I was waiting for the bus, I was whistling. I saw a cute girl running and I looked at my phone so it didn't seem too awkward. I was still whistling as she passed by so it sounded like I whistled at her. She ran back to slap me. FML
by heycutie / 04/15/2014 at 12:24am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML
by Anonymous / 04/02/2014 at 7:30am / Australia (Victoria) / Work
by Author / 02/24/2014 at 5:22pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, my pregnant wife's parents called me at work, saying she'd been crying inconsolably and wouldn't say what was wrong. After pleading with my boss, I rushed home. Turns out there was an "ugly" sofa in a TV ad and she felt it was "picking on ugly sofas". FML
by fuckmeitsgettingworse / 02/24/2014 at 2:36pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML
by chinaski7628 / 02/15/2014 at 2:11am / United States (California) / Work
Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML
by Kaddiscott / 01/20/2014 at 5:12am / Italy (Trentino-Alto Adige) / Miscellaneous
by DisturbedMan / 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 1:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 6:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 1:06am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML
by Elisa_LmR / 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm / France / Miscellaneous
by notsohandy / 01/03/2014 at 5:08pm / Denmark (Midtjylland) / Intimacy
by notakeeper / 01/02/2014 at 10:50pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message. Every 20 minutes or so, I'll get a notification that I have a new message, and I check it just to find that same message sitting there. I'm being trolled by my own phone. FML
by Anonymous / 01/01/2014 at 2:49am / Australia (Queensland) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…