Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MattDoe82

Search for a member

MattDoe82
  • Town/Country : Fairport, NY, US
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 April 1996 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 129
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About MattDoe82 : I play hockey, football (American) and snowboard. #FindYourStrong #RIPBlake

MattDoe82's last visitors

CarmenCnhemilee01jaffvisdead_insectslizzzzzx3mKYR_SP33DYtheawkwardlifelndala

MattDoe82's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of MattDoe82's badges

MattDoe82's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML

#20817205
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44429) - you deserved it (24341)

On 08/02/2013 at 3:44pm - intimacy - by fuck but no fuck (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my husband was looking at a bariatric surgery website and asked him what he was reading. He said, "Oh, your anniversary gift. Surprise!" He wasn't kidding. He got mad when I politely declined his gift, then angrily said "You know, it really hurts when you don't like the things I get you." FML

#13794199
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17310) - you deserved it (3727)

On 11/10/2010 at 8:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: