Mata_Hari

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Mata_Hari

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 June 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 18490
  • Number of comments : 124
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Mata_Hari : I would like to go back to a time... when it was Radio Ga Ga and NOT Lady Gaga.

Mata_Hari's page activity

Visits<b>Chibster</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 10:43am<b>dom_g</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 3:08pm<b>koganti</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 9:57pm<b>trevieh47</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 2:01am<b>DerrickJames</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 2:13am<b>PresAgent</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 11:48am<b>blues_traveller</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 7:12am<b>R3G3N</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 5:32am<b>hantu69</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 7:09pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 9:35pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 5:43pm<b>rarthink</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 6:05am<b>thealebalmaceda</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 5:42am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 8:38pm<b>annamarieolsen</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 10:27pm<b>ekimen</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 7:37am<b>cokeman666</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 6:30am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 3:16pm

Mata_Hari's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Mata_Hari's favorite FMLs

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

by APetsPet / 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, was my birthday. I asked for a camera - nothing fancy, just a basic digital camera. My mother bought my brother a fancy digital camera, with all the accessories, for over £200. She then gave me his old, analogue camera, that I can't get film for anymore. He hates taking photos. FML

by unlucky / 09/19/2009 at 3:05pm / United Kingdom (Hounslow) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

by awilson / 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML

by ginny / 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, at my girlfriend's place I cleaned up her room, put candles everywhere, scented the air and placed rose petals all over her bed in an attempt to be romantic and loving. The first thing she said when she saw all this was "uggg I have to clean all this up". FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2009 at 2:05am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML

by mrboston / 09/01/2009 at 7:44pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML

by LizP40 / 08/27/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML

by litterbox_girl / 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML

by bunny / 08/16/2009 at 9:58am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML

by MadMax / 07/16/2009 at 10:59am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend throwing my birth control box at me and shouting that I was a slut for cheating on him since we never had sex. I attempted to explain the birth control was for a condition I have that causes my period to be non-existent. He didn't believe me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2009 at 10:45am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML

by FMLFMLFMLFML / 05/29/2009 at 1:52pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I confronted my fiancé and told him I knew his 'little secret'. I had suspected that he had been ruining his wedding diet by eating pizza at the office. He replied that the affair with his secretary had only been going on for a couple of months. FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2009 at 7:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Love