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MassiveBerry

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MassiveBerry

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 503
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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MassiveBerry's page activity

Visits<b>holografic</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 9:39pm<b>Imjuststr8n4sty</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 11:29pm<b>jimdandy</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 11:25am<b>scottious101</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 6:39pm<b>lolwhatthehellz</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 6:19pm<b>boostedc</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 5:19pm<b>Teen_Facts</b> - the 01/12/2013 at 12:04am

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MassiveBerry's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52425) - you deserved it (18544)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, after working my shift at McDonalds, I went to clock in at my dispatch job. During a 911 call, I blurted, "Would you like to try the McRib while it's back?" FML

#21023934
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46320) - you deserved it (8717)

On 01/10/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friends and I went camping in the woods. I fell asleep first. Waking up hours later to them bunched up together in the middle of the tent and me half-way outside, I confronted them about it. They admitted, "We heard a bear so we needed a sacrifice." FML

#21020901
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47713) - you deserved it (5084)

On 01/07/2014 at 11:37pm - misc - by bear food - United States (California)

Today, I announced my pregnancy to my husband. He responded with, "Well shit, when do these faucets turn on?" and started honking my boobs. FML

#21006112
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37355) - you deserved it (5203)

On 12/26/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I would like to thank the program designer that put "Set as home page" directly under "Remove from history". FML

#20991949
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37890) - you deserved it (10068)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by The_Rest_of_the_Story (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling down, so I wouldn't miss. I dropped the toilet seat on my little soldier. FML

Today, I got sent home early because a large fire broke out at work. I was greeted by the sight of my cocktard of a "boyfriend" making out on my sofa with another woman. He actually had the audacity and brass balls to claim he thought she was me. FML

#20842035
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55178) - you deserved it (3750)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:40pm - love - by why yes, I do mean "ex-boyfriend" (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, I was visiting my childhood home, and I checked out my old treehouse. A family of skunks had made it their home, and I was promptly sprayed upon entering. FML

#20733333
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40597) - you deserved it (6471)

On 06/18/2013 at 2:00pm - animals - by skunked - United States (California)

Today, I was at my job, waiting tables. A fellow server and myself were given a party of 14 Bible thumpers. They left us $9.00 and a mini Bible after awesome service, telling us we did a great job. Unfortunately, Religion doesn't pay my car payment. FML

#20559101
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33236) - you deserved it (5817)

On 03/25/2013 at 4:48am - money - by PrayingForMoney - United States (California)

Today, I met a guy in a bar. He was sweet and funny so I asked him out for coffee later. He quickly turned me down, saying that I didn't even meet his first requirement. His first requirement was "looks like a girl." FML

#20534087
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32717) - you deserved it (3960)

On 03/06/2013 at 10:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

#20533607
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55815) - you deserved it (14649)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22246) - you deserved it (45493)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

#20527203
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61554) - you deserved it (5385)

On 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by sn-511 (man) - Italy (Campania)

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

#20521872
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56159) - you deserved it (4521) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, I pointed out to my boyfriend how Valentine's day, my birthday, and our one-year anniversary were all coming up in the next few weeks. He then promptly broke up with me. FML

#20497809
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34455) - you deserved it (8215)

On 02/08/2013 at 1:24am - love - by katelynm - United States



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