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MaskingTape

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MaskingTape
  • Town/Country : Lexington, KY, United States, United States, US?, US?, US?, usa, usa
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 19 February 1987 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 652
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MaskingTape : I'm a former military policeman in the army, a senior in psychology at the Univ of Kentucky, and currently applying to police departments.

Facebook.com/treewonbravo

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MaskingTape's favorite FMLs

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

#17496000
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25387) - you deserved it (3088)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

#14968643
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44119) - you deserved it (8911)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML

#14866852
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16991) - you deserved it (24299)

On 02/06/2011 at 12:53pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw a YouTube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his iPod, and at the end he showed how there were no scratches and the screen was still clean. I took my iPod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML

#5355612
475 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17100) - you deserved it (227800)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by MgmEboy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

#1617373
506 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81443) - you deserved it (222494)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

#1550059
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21104) - you deserved it (220671)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:21am - health - by breathalizard (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML

#1416648
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17779) - you deserved it (213659)

On 04/28/2009 at 7:16am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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