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MaryJo96

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MaryJo96
  • Town/Country : South Carolina, America
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 639
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About MaryJo96 : My name is Mary Jo, I'm 17, and I live in South Carolina and don't plan on ever leaving! I am strong in my Christian faith, and plan to be a veterinarian when I grow up:) Message me if you wanna talk! :)

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MaryJo96's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my 8 year old daughter that she looks a lot like mommy. Now she won't come out of her room because she thinks she is ugly. FML

#4055468
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45744) - you deserved it (5379)

On 07/26/2009 at 2:58pm - kids - by loserwithlice (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was walking through a heavy door at work, so I reached behind me to catch it so it wouldn't slam shut. Little did I know that my boss was walking through right after me. Instead of catching the door, I caught a handful of his crotch. FML

#3982111
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44251) - you deserved it (4753)

On 07/23/2009 at 4:23pm - work - by bossgroper (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML

#3925036
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58694) - you deserved it (10695)

On 07/21/2009 at 6:42am - intimacy - by picturemenakedbaby (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend. While he was driving, I held out my hand as an offer for him to hold it. Instead, he grabs me by the wrist and shoves my hand down his pants. Lovely. FML

#3890479
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40329) - you deserved it (17155)

On 07/19/2009 at 9:23pm - love - by DanceOnTheEdge (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML

#3866065
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25963) - you deserved it (58211)

On 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by harrysolo (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my friend posted my picture on Craigslist under the "men seeking men" section. I got 16 replies with 2 hours. He then decided to post another picture of me under "men seeking women" to compare results. The only reply I got was from a man. FML

#3713033
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41935) - you deserved it (3493)

On 07/13/2009 at 9:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm studying abroad in Russia, and I lost my keys to my dorm room. In the office I asked for a spare and she spoke really fast so I couldn't hear her. Assuming I don't speak Russian, she gets on the phone and calls maintenance saying, "There is this ugly girl about to cry... come fix it." FML

#3635779
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41901) - you deserved it (2355)

On 07/10/2009 at 8:50am - misc - by icanunderstand (woman) - Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City)

Today, I met up with a guy from a local dating site for coffee. He walked up, looked me over and said "Ummm, no", then walked off. FML

#2074546
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59802) - you deserved it (7656)

On 05/19/2009 at 6:13am - misc - by notnerb - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

#1930454
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14307) - you deserved it (87467)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

#1690188
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90303) - you deserved it (19963)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I opened my email expecting to see messages from my friends and family wishing me a happy birthday, but there were none. There were Happy Birthday messages from Pizza Hut and Victoria's Secret, however. FML

#1525612
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52583) - you deserved it (3708)

On 05/01/2009 at 2:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was responsible for taking care of Hoppers, the rabbit belonging to my sons 3rd grade class. Tomorrow my son returns Hoppers so the next student can care for him. That won't be happening because Hoppers hopped out my 5th story window. FML

#1091481
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58656) - you deserved it (13151)

On 04/18/2009 at 5:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was working at a local restaurant when another server's table called me over to ask if I've "ever killed anybody". They informed me I looked like a serial killer. I informed them, of course, that I have never killed anybody. Another customer claimed I scared her child. I was fired. FML

#964026
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65115) - you deserved it (3885)

On 04/14/2009 at 2:13am - work - by Bob (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

#896114
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (201357) - you deserved it (19793)

On 04/10/2009 at 1:11am - animals - by lanbon182 - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
907 comments

I agree, your life sucks (329221) - you deserved it (35707)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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