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MaryJo96

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MaryJo96
  • Town/Country : South Carolina, America
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 650
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About MaryJo96 : My name is Mary Jo, I'm 17, and I live in South Carolina and don't plan on ever leaving! I am strong in my Christian faith, and plan to be a veterinarian when I grow up:) Message me if you wanna talk! :)

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MaryJo96's favorite FMLs

Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML

#15852392
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27798) - you deserved it (12491)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:29pm - work - by Stupid (woman) - United States

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35990) - you deserved it (22609)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while in my doctor's packed waiting room, an elderly woman insisted I take her seat. I thanked her, but politely declined. She began to yell, saying I was "ungrateful", until I sat down. She then left, laughing, as I discovered that she peed in the chair. Apparently, she does this often. FML

Today, I went to meet the girl I'd been talking to online for a while, and fallen in love with. When I arrived at her house, my brother answered the door and took a picture of my shocked face. He and his girlfriend had planned the entire thing because I'm apparently the most gullible member of the family. FML

#14191848
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33682) - you deserved it (7437)

On 12/13/2010 at 3:29pm - love - by phonesage (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, our class was focusing on discrimination, and our teacher asked us if anyone had ever felt discriminated against. I put my hand up to share a story, and my teacher immediately said "It's because you're ginger, isn't it?" That's not what I was going to say. FML

#13688243
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33591) - you deserved it (5772)

On 11/02/2010 at 1:43pm - misc - by gingerninja (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, as a physics teacher, I was testing a class to see how high a sound frequency they could hear. One girl claimed she could hear the sound even though it was physically impossible. Without thinking, I replied "Only dogs can hear this frequency." Needless to say, she was picked on all day. FML

#13636606
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25310) - you deserved it (11261)

On 10/29/2010 at 8:17am - kids - by mrtut (man) - United Kingdom (Merseyside)

Today, I was having a good talk with a coworker and I was excited that I've made my first friend at work. After sharing some stories and some laughs he asked if I had a boyfriend. I said I do. He asked if I was always faithful, I said I was. He then walked away. FML

#13245431
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26925) - you deserved it (3934)

On 09/29/2010 at 2:33am - work - by csor027 - United States (California)

Today, I went to a water park, and the fee to get in was $39.95. Once I got in I was really thirsty, so I got a soda and then I hear over the intercom that the park is closing due to a clog in the cleaning system. I paid 43.67 for a soda. FML

#12592660
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28148) - you deserved it (2778)

On 08/17/2010 at 10:01pm - misc - by Still Dry - United States

Today, I decided to call the number a cute guy had scribbled onto a napkin and given to me. I was greeted by, "Hello, this is Dr. Allen's office." Surprised, because I didn't remember his name being anything close to Allen, I asked who Dr. Allen was. She's a psychologist. FML

#12371102
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25439) - you deserved it (5007)

On 08/07/2010 at 1:10pm - misc - by TRalalla (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15285) - you deserved it (44857)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, I was at my Muay Thai class. We were doing a combination which consisted of a low kick, body kick and head kick. My partner had already done the low kick so I held the pads for the body kick. He kicked me straight in the jaw. I'm a teenage girl and he's a fully grown man. FML

#7586565
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28171) - you deserved it (3115)

On 01/26/2010 at 7:55am - health - by anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

#7318001
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23711) - you deserved it (12197)

On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out the guy I've been seeing for 3 months lives at home with his parents. He's 30. They live in a '50+ only' housing complex and he sneaks in the side door. FML

#7313507
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22012) - you deserved it (2758)

On 01/13/2010 at 1:11am - love - by ilu.xo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I overheard my parents discussing whether or not they could trust me being alone in the house for 2 days. They then came to the decision that I'm too unpopular and unattractive to ever throw a wild party or get laid. FML

#7156329
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26824) - you deserved it (2060)

On 01/05/2010 at 12:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML

#7059042
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35820) - you deserved it (16875)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by pottypattypeepants (woman) - United States (Texas)



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