MaryJo96

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Offline (the 02/15/2015 at 5:18am)

MaryJo96

1Fucked!

MaryJo96MaryJo96
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5093
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About MaryJo96 : My name is Mary Jo, I'm 18, and I live in South Carolina and don't plan on ever leaving! I am strong in my Christian faith, and am currently enrolled in a university pursuing a career as an artist with a business minor :) Message me if you wanna talk! :)

MaryJo96's page activity

Visits<b>orios105</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 10:53pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 8:17pm<b>Dinderdon</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 5:37pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 10:55pm<b>morondon000</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 12:09pm<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 4:47pm<b>randomnutter</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 3:44pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 10:20pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 10:47am<b>SirRipsABong420</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 10:12am<b>braver7315</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 7:06am<b>roza_and_dimka</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:05am<b>lolol123</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 8:52am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 6:04am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 3:27pm<b>HunterHimself</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 9:26pm<b>maxyutd</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 3:11pm<b>ayyy_bro</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:54pm

Fucked!<b>Edogg215</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 4:47pm

MaryJo96's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of MaryJo96's badges

MaryJo96's favorite FMLs

Today, I started dating a seemingly normal guy. Not even four hours into our relationship, he began telling me that he can see spirits, dead people, and that I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go. FML

by holyshitbatman / 11/08/2012 at 11:53pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my cat played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2012 at 1:59am / United States / Animals

Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2012 at 7:37am / United States / Kids

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

by anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 1:53am / United States / Kids

Today, I had to explain to my 22-year-old boyfriend that mice do not grow up to be rats. FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2012 at 10:50am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML

by Display / 09/27/2012 at 12:10am / Health

Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 3:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and sister fooling around in the shower together. Supposedly, she was sleepwalking, and he was trying to wake her up. FML

by Anonymous / 07/04/2012 at 12:40pm / Canada (Prince Edward Island) / Intimacy

Today, not only does my cat rabidly attack my face if I don't let him sleep on my pillow, but he snores too. FML

by emi / 07/01/2012 at 12:30am / Animals

Today, I purposely wore a red shirt to Target just so people would talk to me. FML

by reddd / 05/10/2012 at 2:44am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML

by lon01t / 05/07/2012 at 4:43pm / United Kingdom (Falkirk) / Kids

Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML

by dentistrygirl / 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was walking down the street, when an aging lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she had pickpocketed me of my wallet. FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2012 at 9:55pm / United States (Illinois) / Money

Today, I heard my neighbors having a violent argument in their front yard. I listened in, and soon found out why the wife wasn't happy with her husband. Apparently, she had caught her husband peeking through my windows for the second time this month. FML

by :| / 04/25/2012 at 2:46pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, late for work, I called my dad to see if he knew where my keys were. Turns out he'd taken them on holiday with him because they have a bottle opener on them. FML

by keyless / 04/14/2012 at 11:20am / United Kingdom (Aberdeen City) / Miscellaneous