About MaryJo96 : My name is Mary Jo, I'm 18, and I live in South Carolina and don't plan on ever leaving! I am strong in my Christian faith, and am currently enrolled in a university pursuing a career as an artist with a business minor :) Message me if you wanna talk! :)
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MaryJo96's favorite FMLs
Today, I met my new roommate. She has a life-size cardboard cutout of Justin Bieber in her room, which I've seen her having actual conversations with twice already. I have to share a bedroom with this psycho. FML
by immovingout / 05/04/2013 at 1:46pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/03/2013 at 5:00pm / Germany / Love
by Jes_jes18 / 05/02/2013 at 2:27pm / United States / Love
Today, I had to go to the hospital for an allergic reaction. Turns out, I'm highly allergic to cherry blossoms. My wife and I just bought a house and moved into a new neighborhood. Almost every block in this neighborhood, including my own, has rows and rows of cherry blossom trees. FML
by verycherryfucked / 04/28/2013 at 6:10pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML
by Skyler / 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by QuinnyZebrass / 04/02/2013 at 12:11am / United States (Arizona) / Work
Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML
by Mr.no contacts / 03/31/2013 at 3:00am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/10/2013 at 3:52am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact both of my roommates are aware of. FML
by Anonymous / 02/25/2013 at 12:44am / United States (Missouri) / Health
by kk / 01/09/2013 at 11:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while on a first date with a charming guy, I excused myself to the bathroom. I tried to bring my purse along, since my pads were in there, and mother nature was calling. He vehemently insisted that I leave my purse, in case I was planning on stiffing him on the bill. FML
by but i make different stiffies / 01/04/2013 at 7:33pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
by Sarah / 12/17/2012 at 7:25am / United States (Georgia) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm / Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan) / Animals
by Anonymous / 11/09/2012 at 3:53pm / New Zealand (Gisborne) / Miscellaneous
- Today I went to the dentist. They gave me fluoride in a cup and I accidentally swallowed some when… Today i went to Mcdonalds to skip some school, i walk up and a guy asks me for some change. I said… Today, I woke up after a night of heavy drinking. What I thought had been a dream of getting up and…