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Offline (the 02/15/2015 at 5:18am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5863
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About MaryJo96 : My name is Mary Jo, I'm 18, and I live in South Carolina and don't plan on ever leaving! I am strong in my Christian faith, and am currently enrolled in a university pursuing a career as an artist with a business minor :) Message me if you wanna talk! :)

MaryJo96's page activity

Visits<b>orios105</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 10:53pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 8:17pm<b>Dinderdon</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 5:37pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 10:55pm<b>morondon000</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 12:09pm<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 4:47pm<b>randomnutter</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 3:44pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 10:20pm<b>SirRipsABong420</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 10:12am<b>braver7315</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 7:06am<b>roza_and_dimka</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:05am<b>lolol123</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 8:52am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 6:04am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 3:27pm<b>HunterHimself</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 9:26pm<b>maxyutd</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 3:11pm<b>ayyy_bro</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:54pm<b>inner_peace</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 11:34am

MaryJo96's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of MaryJo96's badges

MaryJo96's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my new roommate. She has a life-size cardboard cutout of Justin Bieber in her room, which I've seen her having actual conversations with twice already. I have to share a bedroom with this psycho. FML

by immovingout / 05/04/2013 at 1:46pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I overheard my boyfriend admitting that he's only dating me because having me around "sucks a bit less than fucking my own hand". FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2013 at 5:00pm / Germany / Love

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML

by Jes_jes18 / 05/02/2013 at 2:27pm / United States / Love

Today, I had to go to the hospital for an allergic reaction. Turns out, I'm highly allergic to cherry blossoms. My wife and I just bought a house and moved into a new neighborhood. Almost every block in this neighborhood, including my own, has rows and rows of cherry blossom trees. FML

by verycherryfucked / 04/28/2013 at 6:10pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

by Skyler / 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my creepy co-worker walked up and said, "You know, I was having sex with this girl last night, and I almost said your name." FML

by QuinnyZebrass / 04/02/2013 at 12:11am / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML

by contacts / 03/31/2013 at 3:00am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2013 at 3:52am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact both of my roommates are aware of. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2013 at 12:44am / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

by kk / 01/09/2013 at 11:07am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while on a first date with a charming guy, I excused myself to the bathroom. I tried to bring my purse along, since my pads were in there, and mother nature was calling. He vehemently insisted that I leave my purse, in case I was planning on stiffing him on the bill. FML

by but i make different stiffies / 01/04/2013 at 7:33pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I had to break up with my boyfriend when I caught him installing cameras in my bathroom. FML

by Sarah / 12/17/2012 at 7:25am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm / Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan) / Animals

Today, we found out that the beloved "Uncle Jimmy" from my early childhood was really the man my mother was cheating on my dad with. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2012 at 3:53pm / New Zealand (Gisborne) / Miscellaneous