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MaryJo96

Offline (the 02/15/2015 at 5:18am) | Search for a member

MaryJo96

1Fucked!

MaryJo96MaryJo96
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3254
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About MaryJo96 : My name is Mary Jo, I'm 18, and I live in South Carolina and don't plan on ever leaving! I am strong in my Christian faith, and am currently enrolled in a university pursuing a career as an artist with a business minor :) Message me if you wanna talk! :)

MaryJo96's page activity

Visits<b>Dinderdon</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 5:37pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 10:55pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 8:09am<b>morondon000</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 12:09pm<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 4:47pm<b>randomnutter</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 3:44pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 10:20pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 10:47am<b>SirRipsABong420</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 10:12am<b>braver7315</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 7:06am<b>roza_and_dimka</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:05am<b>lolol123</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 8:52am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 6:04am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 3:27pm<b>HunterHimself</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 9:26pm<b>maxyutd</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 3:11pm<b>ayyy_bro</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:54pm<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 4:05am

Fucked!<b>Edogg215</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 4:47pm

MaryJo96's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of MaryJo96's badges

MaryJo96's favorite FMLs

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60163) - you deserved it (3936)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

#20739861
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25918) - you deserved it (65142) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/21/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by breeeeeh (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I ran the mile in gym class. I was the second to last person to finish, and I was left panting and feeling faint. When the teacher found out I hadn't come in dead last, he accused me of skipping a lap and is now making me rerun the entire thing. FML

#20721311
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58355) - you deserved it (5698)

On 06/12/2013 at 10:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

#20720952
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50953) - you deserved it (5095)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, I took my pet rabbit to the vet because I had noticed his genitals looked swollen compared to my other rabbit's. It turns out he's just "gifted". The vet laughed at me. FML

#20719275
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43496) - you deserved it (6619)

On 06/11/2013 at 10:00am - animals - by Rjlup - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was in the bathroom at work when I ran out of toilet paper. There was another guy in the restroom so I asked him if he could hand me a roll. He laughed, called me a dumbass, turned off the lights and walked out. FML

#20717345
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50828) - you deserved it (5695)

On 06/10/2013 at 11:55am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mom walked into the bathroom while I was taking a pic to send to my long-distance boyfriend. She then told me I would go to hell for flaunting myself at guys. I was fully clothed, sending a pic to see if he liked my new haircut. That and I'm 21. FML

#20716841
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55797) - you deserved it (4268)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:13am - misc - by Crazy Mom (woman) - United States

Today, I was told by my grandfather that I was no longer allowed to visit him or to set foot in his house. Why? He found out I have been taking Japanese and German as electives in my degree, so I must be an 'enemy spy'. FML

#20716829
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48072) - you deserved it (4894)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:09am - work - by Frazz (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

#20715175
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57205) - you deserved it (9878)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my wife decided to check her email, while I was still inside her. FML

#20714723
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62213) - you deserved it (12375)

On 06/09/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife decided to check her email, while I was still inside her. FML

#20714723
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62213) - you deserved it (12375)

On 06/09/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at the gym, my boobs were jiggling more than the girl next to me. This would be a good thing, if I wasn't a guy. FML

#20712866
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48091) - you deserved it (15487)

On 06/08/2013 at 12:42am - health - by random - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML

#20712090
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67108) - you deserved it (9248)

On 06/07/2013 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by what the fuck (woman) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I rescued a little boy who looked like he was drowning in a public pool. His mother then smacked me in the face for "touching him". FML

#20708781
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48074) - you deserved it (3175)

On 06/06/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by butisavedyourkid - United States

Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML

#20707414
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44190) - you deserved it (14222)

On 06/05/2013 at 12:03pm - animals - by SHIT-BREATH (man) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)



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