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MaryJo96

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MaryJo96
  • Town/Country : South Carolina, America
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 634
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About MaryJo96 : My name is Mary Jo, I'm 17, and I live in South Carolina and don't plan on ever leaving! I am strong in my Christian faith, and plan to be a veterinarian when I grow up:) Message me if you wanna talk! :)

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MaryJo96's favorite FMLs

Today, during a firework show, my dog gave me her opinion about them by practically eating half my bedroom door then defecating on my bed. FML

#20764553
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32827) - you deserved it (6621)

On 07/05/2013 at 1:43am - animals - by damn dog - United States

Today, my daughter asked me to get her razors. When my 19-year-old son saw them he asked what they were for, to which my daughter replied, "For my armpits." My son then said, "Girls don't grow armpit hair." FML

#20764467
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40623) - you deserved it (5544)

On 07/05/2013 at 12:59am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was accused of shooting drugs at work. I was only feeding a baby bird that was tucked into my arm using a medicine syringe. I've been smuggling it to work because it has to eat every 2 hours or it will starve. Now everyone there thinks I'm a hardcore dope fiend. FML

#20751061
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42508) - you deserved it (7793)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:56pm - animals - by Gribby - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML

#20745866
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45335) - you deserved it (7862)

On 06/25/2013 at 2:12am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53828) - you deserved it (3197)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

#20739861
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24214) - you deserved it (61090) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/21/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by breeeeeh (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I ran the mile in gym class. I was the second to last person to finish, and I was left panting and feeling faint. When the teacher found out I hadn't come in dead last, he accused me of skipping a lap and is now making me rerun the entire thing. FML

#20721311
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53818) - you deserved it (4994)

On 06/12/2013 at 10:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

#20720952
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45341) - you deserved it (4252)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, I took my pet rabbit to the vet because I had noticed his genitals looked swollen compared to my other rabbit's. It turns out he's just "gifted". The vet laughed at me. FML

#20719275
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41240) - you deserved it (6352)

On 06/11/2013 at 10:00am - animals - by Rjlup - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was in the bathroom at work when I ran out of toilet paper. There was another guy in the restroom so I asked him if he could hand me a roll. He laughed, called me a dumbass, turned off the lights and walked out. FML

#20717345
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47691) - you deserved it (5398)

On 06/10/2013 at 11:55am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mom walked into the bathroom while I was taking a pic to send to my long-distance boyfriend. She then told me I would go to hell for flaunting myself at guys. I was fully clothed, sending a pic to see if he liked my new haircut. That and I'm 21. FML

#20716841
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51353) - you deserved it (3875)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:13am - misc - by Crazy Mom (woman) - United States

Today, I was told by my grandfather that I was no longer allowed to visit him or to set foot in his house. Why? He found out I have been taking Japanese and German as electives in my degree, so I must be an 'enemy spy'. FML

#20716829
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45265) - you deserved it (4633)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:09am - work - by Frazz (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

#20715175
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53014) - you deserved it (9386)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my wife decided to check her email, while I was still inside her. FML

#20714723
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56421) - you deserved it (10970)

On 06/09/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife decided to check her email, while I was still inside her. FML

#20714723
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56421) - you deserved it (10970)

On 06/09/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



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