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MaryJo96

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MaryJo96

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1930
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About MaryJo96 : My name is Mary Jo, I'm 18, and I live in South Carolina and don't plan on ever leaving! I am strong in my Christian faith, and plan to be a veterinarian when I grow up:) Message me if you wanna talk! :)

MaryJo96's page activity

Visits<b>Bulldozer36</b> - 6 hours ago<b>braver7315</b> - 9 hours ago<b>michaelm1290</b> - 17 hours ago<b>roza_and_dimka</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:05am<b>lolol123</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 8:52am<b>Jenra</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 1:42am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 6:04am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 3:27pm<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 6:52am<b>HunterHimself</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 9:26pm<b>maxyutd</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 3:11pm<b>ayyy_bro</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:54pm<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 4:05am<b>inner_peace</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 11:34am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 8:58am<b>mazdatuner09</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 12:28am<b>steveykinz0967</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 5:36pm<b>XZoTic_TB</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 5:00pm

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MaryJo96's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend texted me "I think we should move in". Then, ten seconds later she sent another text that said, "Sorry, typo. Move on". FML

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59349) - you deserved it (5428)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked out a guy at work that I really like. He just stared at me and said, "Honestly? I'd rather smash my balls with a mallet. No offense." FML

#20828908
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50862) - you deserved it (4507)

On 08/09/2013 at 10:54am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

#20823157
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54137) - you deserved it (18184)

On 08/06/2013 at 1:07am - work - by offuckingcourse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went camping with my family. While I was using the shower house, my sister decided it'd be hilarious to run off with my clothes and towel. I ran back to the camper, completely naked, only for my parents to bitch me out for streaking. FML

#20803187
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42561) - you deserved it (3220)

On 07/25/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I asked this really cute girl for her number. I had nothing else on me so I told her to write it on a dollar bill. Later, without thinking, I put it in a vending machine. I freaked out and frantically pushed the return button. It gave me back quarters. FML

Today, I was playing solitaire when an achievement popped up on my phone. "You have just completed your 1000th game of solitaire!" Never felt so alone in my life. FML

#20793723
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45719) - you deserved it (7618)

On 07/20/2013 at 4:14am - misc - by solitaire - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57221) - you deserved it (6782)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were furniture shopping. They had miniature versions built of some of the desks. He commented how they were "cute for little kids" to use. They were 6 inches tall. I had to explain to him that they were only models, not real desks. I'm dating Zoolander. FML

#20782878
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35954) - you deserved it (4614)

On 07/14/2013 at 9:07pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML

#20776976
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44017) - you deserved it (3920)

On 07/12/2013 at 12:36am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML

#20766295
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52160) - you deserved it (4461)

On 07/06/2013 at 12:17am - love - by walker - United States

Today, during a firework show, my dog gave me her opinion about them by practically eating half my bedroom door then defecating on my bed. FML

#20764553
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35989) - you deserved it (7151)

On 07/05/2013 at 1:43am - animals - by damn dog - United States

Today, my daughter asked me to get her razors. When my 19-year-old son saw them he asked what they were for, to which my daughter replied, "For my armpits." My son then said, "Girls don't grow armpit hair." FML

#20764467
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45063) - you deserved it (6344)

On 07/05/2013 at 12:59am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was accused of shooting drugs at work. I was only feeding a baby bird that was tucked into my arm using a medicine syringe. I've been smuggling it to work because it has to eat every 2 hours or it will starve. Now everyone there thinks I'm a hardcore dope fiend. FML

#20751061
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43969) - you deserved it (7967)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:56pm - animals - by Gribby - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML

#20745866
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49480) - you deserved it (8746)

On 06/25/2013 at 2:12am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)



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