About MaryJo96 : My name is Mary Jo, I'm 18, and I live in South Carolina and don't plan on ever leaving! I am strong in my Christian faith, and am currently enrolled in a university pursuing a career as an artist with a business minor :) Message me if you wanna talk! :)
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MaryJo96's favorite FMLs
by DandoisFLAT / 08/11/2013 at 10:42pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/09/2013 at 10:54am / France / Love
Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML
by offuckingcourse / 08/06/2013 at 1:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I went camping with my family. While I was using the shower house, my sister decided it'd be hilarious to run off with my clothes and towel. I ran back to the camper, completely naked, only for my parents to bitch me out for streaking. FML
by Anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked this really cute girl for her number. I had nothing else on me so I told her to write it on a dollar bill. Later, without thinking, I put it in a vending machine. I freaked out and frantically pushed the return button. It gave me back quarters. FML
by gavinbanks / 07/21/2013 at 6:55pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
by solitaire / 07/20/2013 at 4:14am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend and I were furniture shopping. They had miniature versions built of some of the desks. He commented how they were "cute for little kids" to use. They were 6 inches tall. I had to explain to him that they were only models, not real desks. I'm dating Zoolander. FML
by anonymous / 07/14/2013 at 9:07pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 12:36am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
by walker / 07/06/2013 at 12:17am / United States / Love
by damn dog / 07/05/2013 at 1:43am / United States / Animals
Today, my daughter asked me to get her razors. When my 19-year-old son saw them he asked what they were for, to which my daughter replied, "For my armpits." My son then said, "Girls don't grow armpit hair." FML
by Anonymous / 07/05/2013 at 12:59am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I was accused of shooting drugs at work. I was only feeding a baby bird that was tucked into my arm using a medicine syringe. I've been smuggling it to work because it has to eat every 2 hours or it will starve. Now everyone there thinks I'm a hardcore dope fiend. FML
by Gribby / 06/27/2013 at 7:56pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals
Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML
by anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 2:12am / United States (Minnesota) / Geek
- Today, I found out my girlfriend has a beastiality fetish...After letting her dogsit for a week. FML Today, while having a drink, I noticed a gigantic spider about to enter my mouth. I instinctively… Today, i attempted to break up with my girlfriend. First she accused me of cheating, then said shed…