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Martinez0285

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Martinez0285

22Fucked!

Martinez0285Martinez0285
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 27 February 1985 (30 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4375
  • Number of comments : 140
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Martinez0285 : I'm Batman..... Shhhhhhhh

Martinez0285's page activity

Visits<b>sam882</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 4:40pm<b>mollspuff</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 12:15pm<b>epc101</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 3:05pm<b>Shipley18</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 7:02pm<b>funneh1</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 11:48pm<b>andits</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 11:23pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 4:16pm<b>longlivelife</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 11:17pm<b>jackjackattack3</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 11:21am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 6:49am<b>delilablue95</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 3:08am<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 3:05am<b>ryan1268</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 11:10pm<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 11:06pm<b>batah</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 2:35am<b>SteamyPenguin</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 10:55am<b>aliceanon</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 3:54pm<b>kyliefoote</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 3:31pm

Fucked!<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 10:16pm<b>longlivelife</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 10:41pm<b>SteamyPenguin</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 4:55pm<b>delilablue95</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 10:05am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 2:21am<b>SarahSehhati</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 10:11pm<b>kyliefoote</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 10:29am<b>amandalynn84</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 4:50am<b>suszyy</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 4:52am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 12:05pm<b>skye147</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 11:27pm<b>HollyPolly</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 7:10pm<b>denaeb123</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 6:08am<b>xninix</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 8:20am<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 7:15am<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 4:59am<b>sophie_doll</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 8:52pm<b>annapanda143</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 3:57pm

Martinez0285's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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See all of Martinez0285's badges

Martinez0285's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to have cereal for breakfast. I poured the cereal in the bowl, added the milk and had a spoonful. Then I realized that my cereal was moving in the back of my mouth. FML

#21374137
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31002) - you deserved it (3275)

On 03/13/2015 at 11:27pm - misc - by Eddy (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, after weeks of oral pain and hundreds of dollars in dentistry fees, we found the culprit: a popcorn kernel that floss was unable to remove. FML

Today, I was walking my dog. Suddenly, my insane neighbor who loves dogs a bit too much comes over and asks to pet my dog. I say OK, thinking that if I watch her, she won't do anything. I turn around to make sure no cars are coming and when I turn back, she's trying to steal my dog. FML

Today, I found a phone in a fitting room. I called the number that said "home" to let the owner know that I was going to give it to the store's manager. Apparently the husband didn't know his wife was out shopping and "blowing all his earnings". FML

#21359482
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28320) - you deserved it (2238)

On 02/19/2015 at 10:16pm - money - by Enslaved (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

#21279204
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34626) - you deserved it (3462)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend tried to be dominant during sex. It was so out of character for him, I couldn't help but break into hysterical laughter. FML

#21266104
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36941) - you deserved it (9485)

On 09/26/2014 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand

Today, I'm sick with the worst head cold of my life. For some reason whenever I cough, I also fart. Everyone thinks I'm just trying to cover up flatulence with fake coughing. FML

#21266077
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35243) - you deserved it (3229)

On 09/26/2014 at 10:46pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, on my first day at as a photo editor at a print store, I had to spend over an hour editing a full shoot of a fat man eating a baguette in a bathtub, closeups included. FML

#21242471
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35684) - you deserved it (3437)

On 08/21/2014 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39400) - you deserved it (7293)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

#21217343
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59524) - you deserved it (43322)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset about being locked up. When I got to his cell, he threw one of his own turds at me through the bars. I took a hit. FML

#21214798
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50328) - you deserved it (4192)

On 07/20/2014 at 1:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML

#21213089
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35348) - you deserved it (2930)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Cura?ao

Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML

#21211411
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51492) - you deserved it (4215)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm - misc - by Is that..? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I decided to try something new with my boyfriend, and sexted him. My text ended up sounding so stupid that I panicked and quickly sent another saying "SORRY WRONG PERSON". FML



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