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Martinez0285

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Martinez0285

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 27 February 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1808
  • Number of comments : 128
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Martinez0285 : I'm Batman shhhhhhhhhh

Martinez0285's page activity

Visits<b>678bebe</b> - 2 hours ago<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - 4 hours ago<b>depressed_child</b> - 12 hours ago<b>559design</b> - 23 hours ago<b>FezzesAreCool</b> - yesterday at 2:57am<b>turtles_love</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 11:58pm<b>PaigeLeeAnn11</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 10:34pm<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 9:34pm<b>Black_Ink</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 9:30pm<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 6:31pm<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 5:57pm<b>CCzero</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 1:34pm<b>Ghosty546</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 11:27pm<b>A7X_all_the_way</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 10:57pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 9:44pm<b>jullestrann</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 7:50pm<b>Dynosaur_dollie</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 2:57pm<b>Miizuo</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 9:29am

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Martinez0285's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

#21217343
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56111) - you deserved it (41640)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML

#21211411
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51230) - you deserved it (4198)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm - misc - by Is that..? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I decided to try something new with my boyfriend, and sexted him. My text ended up sounding so stupid that I panicked and quickly sent another saying "SORRY WRONG PERSON". FML

Today, my girlfriend asked me where I've always wanted to settle down, and I told her that Italy had always appealed to me. She snorted and told me what a bad idea that was, because "you don't speak French". FML

Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML

#21174627
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46129) - you deserved it (22767)

On 06/14/2014 at 5:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

#21171240
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45862) - you deserved it (6953)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

#21169063
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50427) - you deserved it (10884)

On 06/10/2014 at 12:02am - love - by MiserableMan (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, I entered my late twenties. My hair's falling out and I'm putting on weight at light speed. At least I can keep my youthful appearance with the acne I still suffer from. FML

#21163683
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40946) - you deserved it (4592)

On 06/05/2014 at 7:12am - misc - by hifhfan (man) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I gave up trying to make any friends at my job as a firefighter. I'm the lone female, and am the subject of gossip with the older men. Anyone I try to befriend ends up hitting on me, while others won't even talk to me because their wives are jealous. FML

#21159616
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48216) - you deserved it (5096)

On 06/01/2014 at 5:53pm - work - by anikah (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

#21158120
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44150) - you deserved it (8302)

On 05/31/2014 at 11:05am - love - by wendtinmypants (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML

#21137389
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58768) - you deserved it (5033)

On 05/12/2014 at 1:17am - kids - by kids -

Today, my drug addict of a roommate convinced herself my red kitten was Pennywise the clown in disguise waiting to kill her, and hit him over the head with a pan. FML

Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML

#21114779
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54377) - you deserved it (5651)

On 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by MILF (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was looking at the map on my phone whilst walking down a street. I heard the sound of a bike behind me so I moved to let the cyclist past. He snatched the phone out of my hand and sped off. FML

#21113059
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37849) - you deserved it (4807)

On 04/14/2014 at 7:43pm - misc - by stupidcunt (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)



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