Martinez0285

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Martinez0285

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Martinez0285Martinez0285
  • Town/Country : Houston, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 27 February 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6721
  • Number of comments : 141
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Martinez0285 : Like zombies eatin dust in Mexico...

I'm Batman..... Shhhhhhhh

https://www.youtube.com/user/x1xBatmanuelx1x

Martinez0285's page activity

Visits<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 11/29/2016 at 3:33am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/27/2016 at 9:27am<b>Jayroc</b> - the 11/11/2016 at 9:34pm<b>xDrSeussIsDeadX</b> - the 11/07/2016 at 3:10pm<b>BryantStone</b> - the 10/21/2016 at 4:41pm<b>brianna_lois</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 4:09pm<b>hewbzy</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 2:17pm<b>Mylehz</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 7:48pm<b>Aniki_Sohma</b> - the 09/01/2016 at 4:06pm<b>awishadahbau5</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 2:25am<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 1:00pm<b>slapstick1982</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 9:52am<b>Myeyesbleed</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 7:17am<b>Teyros</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 7:27pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 2:23pm<b>melisssa87</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 2:54pm<b>2simz</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 3:38am<b>gkmd98</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 7:27pm

Fucked!<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 11/08/2016 at 8:16am<b>xDrSeussIsDeadX</b> - the 11/07/2016 at 9:10pm<b>melisssa87</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 1:02am<b>KcChaos26</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 4:57am<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 8:07pm<b>classicate</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 6:31pm<b>justgotosleep</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 5:45pm<b>hennessy89</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 3:45am<b>ugalde976</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 9:45am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 4:03pm<b>_itsbridgett</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:55pm<b>James64138</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 6:10pm<b>rookworst</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 8:04pm<b>michelle42</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 2:01am<b>WillowB47</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 1:15am<b>bbackensto</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 3:57pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 9:30pm<b>Anais457</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 4:37pm

Martinez0285's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Colonel_Whiskers

You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of Martinez0285's badges

Martinez0285's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking with my girlfriend. We both have family issues, so we'd agreed to open up to each other today. Turns out I'm dating my cousin. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I got in a fight about which is better: Star Wars or Lord of the Rings. We aren't speaking. FML

by amburrjade / 09/22/2015 at 1:18am / United States (Texas) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML

by Anonymous / 07/03/2015 at 3:29pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Love

Today, I decided to have cereal for breakfast. I poured the cereal in the bowl, added the milk and had a spoonful. Then I realized that my cereal was moving in the back of my mouth. FML

by Eddy / 03/13/2015 at 11:27pm / United States (Arkansas) / Animals

Today, after weeks of oral pain and hundreds of dollars in dentistry fees, we found the culprit: a popcorn kernel that floss was unable to remove. FML

by iAlissa / 03/13/2015 at 2:36pm / United States (California) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was walking my dog. Suddenly, my insane neighbor who loves dogs a bit too much comes over and asks to pet my dog. I say OK, thinking that if I watch her, she won't do anything. I turn around to make sure no cars are coming and when I turn back, she's trying to steal my dog. FML

by teecrafter2038 / 03/12/2015 at 10:07am / United States (New York) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found a phone in a fitting room. I called the number that said "home" to let the owner know that I was going to give it to the store's manager. Apparently the husband didn't know his wife was out shopping and "blowing all his earnings". FML

by Enslaved / 02/19/2015 at 10:16pm / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

by anonymous / 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend tried to be dominant during sex. It was so out of character for him, I couldn't help but break into hysterical laughter. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2014 at 11:30pm / New Zealand / Intimacy

Today, I'm sick with the worst head cold of my life. For some reason whenever I cough, I also fart. Everyone thinks I'm just trying to cover up flatulence with fake coughing. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2014 at 10:46pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, on my first day at as a photo editor at a print store, I had to spend over an hour editing a full shoot of a fat man eating a baguette in a bathtub, closeups included. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2014 at 1:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

by royallymessedup / 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm / Love

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

by Emliy / 08/01/2014 at 1:06am / United States (Illinois) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset about being locked up. When I got to his cell, he threw one of his own turds at me through the bars. I took a hit. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2014 at 1:23am / United States / Work