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Martinez0285

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Martinez0285

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 27 February 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2759
  • Number of comments : 136
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Martinez0285 : I'm Batman..... Shhhhhhhh

Martinez0285's page activity

Visits<b>Jillian369</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 3:02pm<b>madi113</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:24am<b>LittleBlackbird</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 5:57am<b>bribecrazyy</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 7:47pm<b>watermelon1</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 4:42pm<b>KellyPeterson92</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 1:09am<b>vlalam</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 12:49pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 5:13pm<b>beccarey9</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 9:23pm<b>midnight_tiger</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 3:43pm<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 2:38pm<b>Queen_Bitch69</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 12:22pm<b>Jellybellybeanz</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 9:09am<b>Miizuo</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 6:41am<b>PainApple</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 6:20pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 6:04pm<b>miichiii</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 4:09pm<b>ElephantCraze22</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 3:58am

Liked!<b>RadicalK</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 5:44am<b>madi113</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 4:26am<b>Jellybellybeanz</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 4:36pm

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Martinez0285's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

#21279204
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34483) - you deserved it (3453)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend tried to be dominant during sex. It was so out of character for him, I couldn't help but break into hysterical laughter. FML

#21266104
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36467) - you deserved it (9403)

On 09/26/2014 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand

Today, I'm sick with the worst head cold of my life. For some reason whenever I cough, I also fart. Everyone thinks I'm just trying to cover up flatulence with fake coughing. FML

#21266077
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33671) - you deserved it (2916)

On 09/26/2014 at 10:46pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, on my first day at as a photo editor at a print store, I had to spend over an hour editing a full shoot of a fat man eating a baguette in a bathtub, closeups included. FML

#21242471
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35582) - you deserved it (3429)

On 08/21/2014 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37609) - you deserved it (6752)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

#21217343
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56605) - you deserved it (41767)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset about being locked up. When I got to his cell, he threw one of his own turds at me through the bars. I took a hit. FML

#21214798
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49208) - you deserved it (4083)

On 07/20/2014 at 1:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML

#21211411
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51371) - you deserved it (4207)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm - misc - by Is that..? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I decided to try something new with my boyfriend, and sexted him. My text ended up sounding so stupid that I panicked and quickly sent another saying "SORRY WRONG PERSON". FML

Today, my girlfriend asked me where I've always wanted to settle down, and I told her that Italy had always appealed to me. She snorted and told me what a bad idea that was, because "you don't speak French". FML

Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML

#21174627
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46212) - you deserved it (22824)

On 06/14/2014 at 5:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

#21171240
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46667) - you deserved it (7006)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

#21169063
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51709) - you deserved it (11299)

On 06/10/2014 at 12:02am - love - by MiserableMan (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, I entered my late twenties. My hair's falling out and I'm putting on weight at light speed. At least I can keep my youthful appearance with the acne I still suffer from. FML

#21163683
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41014) - you deserved it (4595)

On 06/05/2014 at 7:12am - misc - by hifhfan (man) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)



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