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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
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Martianrobot67

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Martianrobot67
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 239
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Martianrobot67's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730 (331)

I agree, your life sucks (19322) - you deserved it (35306)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, my girlfriend won't have sex with me. Why? Because my mii knocked out her mii in Wii boxing. It wouldn't be as bad if she wasn't in one player mode. FML

#11907332 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (24806) - you deserved it (3175)

On 07/15/2010 at 9:12pm - intimacy - by knock_out (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

#8894345 (209)

I agree, your life sucks (24262) - you deserved it (1905)

On 03/07/2010 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by woopdeedo_1 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, my mom cleaned my room, while doing so she found a very detailed sex book I got from an ex boyfriend as a "gift". For years I had her convinced I was still a virgin, until today. FML

#8886526 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (3836) - you deserved it (13214)

On 03/07/2010 at 3:13am - intimacy - by laydeegaga -

Today, my mother walked in on my boyfriend licking whipped cream off my nipples. FML

#8663511 (447)

I agree, your life sucks (8257) - you deserved it (15156)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by hannah12345 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML

#8406793 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (8879) - you deserved it (2941)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by goldie09 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out the hard way that my girlfriend lied about being on the pill four months ago. FML

#8366883 (298)

I agree, your life sucks (23163) - you deserved it (4940)

On 02/17/2010 at 3:15am - health - by Daddy. (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a really sweet poem that he wrote for me. I think it was secondhand - the first letter of each verse spelled his ex girlfriend's name. FML

#8347033 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (19583) - you deserved it (1220)

On 02/16/2010 at 7:00pm - love - by blaze (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was bored at work, so I started doodling a big muscly arm on my notepad, including bulging veins. After I returned from lunch, my boss called me into his office. Apparently the mail clerk saw and was offended. I was asked to explain why I was drawing a person's 'private area'. FML

#8300405 (236)

I agree, your life sucks (13169) - you deserved it (4946)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML

#8246402 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (11505) - you deserved it (1985)

On 02/14/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by DallasGal (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML

#8052532 (232)

I agree, your life sucks (8553) - you deserved it (15700)

On 02/09/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by kingmetal42 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my wife told me that she wants a divorce. Apparently, I'm taking too long to forgive her for having an affair. FML

#8007252 (248)

I agree, your life sucks (34549) - you deserved it (2409)

On 02/08/2010 at 9:18am - love - by DD - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out the love of my life, my husband, is cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, his response was, "Don't blame me, you're the gullible bitch." FML

#7992828 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (30912) - you deserved it (2409)

On 02/07/2010 at 11:03pm - love - by Hm (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got sent to detention for saying, "that's what she said" after a girl in my class said, "push a little harder" while disecting a frog. FML

#7894652 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (19943) - you deserved it (750)

On 02/05/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by eemp - Sent from mobile version

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend watching a home made sex tape he had previously made with his ex-girlfriend. What's worse than him jerking off to it? He was crying and hugging a pillow. FML

#7811688 (253)

I agree, your life sucks (22568) - you deserved it (1688)

On 02/02/2010 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)