MarkToast

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MarkToast

1Fucked!

MarkToastMarkToast
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1997
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About MarkToast : If you could, you know, NOT be a creep and stalk my profile page, yeah that'd be great.

Just kidding, have a nice day.

MarkToast's page activity

Visits<b>quazimozart</b> - the 10/06/2016 at 5:58pm<b>aRandomAccount</b> - the 10/01/2016 at 2:39pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 10:04pm<b>UnknownTracker</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 2:35pm<b>marshm610</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 2:53pm<b>Kreiff01</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 9:06pm<b>tVictoria</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 5:06am<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 3:59pm<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 11:17am<b>duhitisme</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 9:12pm<b>nissanleaf</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 3:27am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 8:16am<b>ksks1234</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 10:17am<b>sethr_di</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 7:20am<b>jcshadow</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 9:55pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 2:48pm<b>Sagittariusnow</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 9:41am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 12:05am

Fucked!<b>ksks1234</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 4:17pm

MarkToast's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of MarkToast's badges

MarkToast's favorite FMLs

Today, I performed a piano piece at a school play. Everything went well until I got up and accidentally smashed my shin against one of the piano legs. Before I could bite my tongue, I'd already yelled "Fucking hell!" in front of about 50 second graders. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2016 at 3:28pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating an onion bagel and bit down on something hard. At first I thought was a really hard piece of onion. The "onion" turned out to be a tooth, and it wasn't one of mine. FML

by empress gleskizor the third of glarkon / 04/18/2016 at 2:12pm / Hungary (Budapest) / Miscellaneous

Today, I pulled off the road to help a turtle cross it. Before I could get out of my car a dump truck ran over the turtle, splattering my car with turtle guts and bits of shell. FML

by RestlessDiesel / 04/18/2016 at 10:40am / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals

Today, I was both sexting with my girlfriend and texting my professor about an upcoming essay. I accidentally sent a dickpic to my professor. FML

by dudster25 / 04/10/2016 at 12:20am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML

by Spooderman / 02/03/2016 at 9:04pm / United States / Kids

Today, after a badly misjudged hand signal, I accidentally hit my boss in the face instead of high-fiving her. FML

by Anonymous / 02/03/2016 at 10:06am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I woke up to fresh coffee, pancakes, and the sight of my dad digging a grave in the backyard for my dog. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2016 at 12:52am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I used my phone to take pictures of my hemorrhoids to show my doctor, forgetting I'd set my phone to upload all photos to a shared Dropbox account. My mother-in-law called. FML

by NewMom1115 / 12/17/2015 at 5:53pm / United States (Washington) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, we were all put in groups to make a presentation together. And by "together" I mean I pulled an all nighter to finish it by myself. My group criticized my work. FML

by aloneagainnaturally / 11/28/2015 at 6:35am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Work

Today, I was jerking off quietly so my roommates wouldn't hear me. In the middle of it, one of them sent me a screenshot of an error message on a porn site, asking if I was having the same problem. I guess I wasn't being so quiet after all. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2015 at 8:17am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML

by CoffeeStained / 11/10/2015 at 10:54am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, after years of difficulty, I finally found the perfect shade of foundation that matches my ultra-pale complexion. It's called "Death Flesh." FML

by 2pale / 11/01/2015 at 1:22pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I awoke to the sound of my neighbor's attacking my car with a baseball bat accusing me of calling the cops on them. I did call the cops on them, after they screamed at me last night, drunkenly, to call the cops for them because they thought they were being robbed. FML

by Anonymous / 10/11/2015 at 11:34am / United States (Kentucky) / Transportation

Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet in a public restroom. That would have been bad enough, without the guy in the next stall saying, "Jesus! What the hell did you eat?!" FML

by AK-47 / 07/17/2015 at 7:04pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, I backed into an expensive SUV only minutes after my boss congratulated me for being the only employee to not wreck a company car. FML

by pgmonster / 05/21/2015 at 6:48am / United States (California) / Transportation