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MarkToast

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MarkToast

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 155
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About MarkToast : im just a kid living in a huge town trying to work out the flaws in my plan for world domination.

MarkToast's page activity

Visits<b>JesusFreak227</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 7:36am<b>Siettadulce</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 5:32am<b>Crazynocatlady</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 3:50pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 8:36pm

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MarkToast's favorite FMLs

Today, my hamster got loose from his cage. His name was Houdini. FML

#21249788
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24432) - you deserved it (6452)

On 09/01/2014 at 2:55pm - animals - by Houdini - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35309) - you deserved it (8189)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35750) - you deserved it (2860)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my little sister was using my phone to play games. About an hour later, she came to me and said my phone wouldn't work. Turns out my phone had gotten hot and she put it in water to cool it down. FML

#21247999
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33031) - you deserved it (3883)

On 08/29/2014 at 5:22pm - kids - by Quincy_Ethan - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML

#21247953
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34909) - you deserved it (4763)

On 08/29/2014 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by SCARRED (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my brother told my 3 year old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML

#21247749
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35191) - you deserved it (3237)

On 08/29/2014 at 8:35am - kids - by Amithatevil - Japan (Kanagawa)

Today, it's been a few months since my grandfather passed away. Now all of his porn subscriptions are getting forwarded to my address. FML

#21246620
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33696) - you deserved it (2713)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:03pm - misc - by dr.mantistobagon (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

#21246585
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31931) - you deserved it (30111)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was fixing the plumbing at my father-in-law's house. I told him to shut off the water and yell to me when he did. A few minutes later, I heard a yell and removed the pipe. I was met with a face full of water. Turns out he was just very excited when the Rangers beat the Mariners. FML

#21245661
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34082) - you deserved it (3203)

On 08/26/2014 at 7:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at my father's funeral, they were playing the song from Phantom of the Opera where she sings about her lost father. Apparently the song organizer forgot to edit out the part where her romantic interest runs toward her and yells, "That... That THING is not your father!" FML

#21245330
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34188) - you deserved it (2580)

On 08/25/2014 at 7:55pm - misc - by NotThePhantom - United States (California)

Today, on my first day at as a photo editor at a print store, I had to spend over an hour editing a full shoot of a fat man eating a baguette in a bathtub, closeups included. FML

#21242471
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34472) - you deserved it (3195)

On 08/21/2014 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML

#21225778
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38597) - you deserved it (6695)

On 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got rear-ended because my ultra-clingy girlfriend wouldn't let go of my hand long enough for me to shift gears. FML

#21220481
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43194) - you deserved it (10261)

On 07/25/2014 at 5:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46707) - you deserved it (6621)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

#21207511
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41607) - you deserved it (13573)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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