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MarkToast

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MarkToast

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 326
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About MarkToast : im just a kid living in a huge town trying to work out the flaws in my plan for world domination.

MarkToast's page activity

Visits<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 5:07pm<b>Shemp_5</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 2:21pm<b>zombiekiller52</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 1:43pm<b>JesusFreak227</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 7:36am<b>Siettadulce</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 5:32am<b>Crazynocatlady</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 3:50pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 8:36pm

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MarkToast's favorite FMLs

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36034) - you deserved it (9867)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm horribly out of shape. My arms are sore, almost like I'd been doing heavy lifting yesterday. Nope. It just was from squeezing cupcake icing out of a tube. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36206) - you deserved it (10563)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42015) - you deserved it (11694)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my roommate asked for my opinion of her new painting. The same painting I hand-painted for over ten hours. She apparently thought it was a gift. She won't give it back. FML

#21251580
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37064) - you deserved it (2904)

On 09/04/2014 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my sister introduced me to her new, deaf boyfriend. She proudly proclaimed that she was trying to learn sign language for his sake, so he wouldn't have to read her lips. I'm also deaf and have been trying to get her to do the same for me for 20 goddamn years. FML

#21250726
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50510) - you deserved it (2481)

On 09/02/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by SadAndDeaf -

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40935) - you deserved it (9493)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41343) - you deserved it (3215)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my little sister was using my phone to play games. About an hour later, she came to me and said my phone wouldn't work. Turns out my phone had gotten hot and she put it in water to cool it down. FML

#21247999
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37660) - you deserved it (4364)

On 08/29/2014 at 5:22pm - kids - by Quincy_Ethan - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML

#21247953
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44226) - you deserved it (6572)

On 08/29/2014 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by SCARRED (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my brother told my 3 year old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML

#21247749
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39230) - you deserved it (3453)

On 08/29/2014 at 8:35am - kids - by Amithatevil - Japan (Kanagawa)

Today, it's been a few months since my grandfather passed away. Now all of his porn subscriptions are getting forwarded to my address. FML

#21246620
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36778) - you deserved it (3057)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:03pm - misc - by dr.mantistobagon (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

#21246585
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36868) - you deserved it (35816)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was fixing the plumbing at my father-in-law's house. I told him to shut off the water and yell to me when he did. A few minutes later, I heard a yell and removed the pipe. I was met with a face full of water. Turns out he was just very excited when the Rangers beat the Mariners. FML

#21245661
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35276) - you deserved it (3244)

On 08/26/2014 at 7:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at my father's funeral, they were playing the song from Phantom of the Opera where she sings about her lost father. Apparently the song organizer forgot to edit out the part where her romantic interest runs toward her and yells, "That... That THING is not your father!" FML

#21245330
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35632) - you deserved it (2608)

On 08/25/2014 at 7:55pm - misc - by NotThePhantom - United States (California)



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