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MarkToast

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MarkToast
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 35
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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MarkToast's last visitors

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MarkToast's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of MarkToast's badges

MarkToast's favorite FMLs

Today, I would like to thank the program designer that put "Set as home page" directly under "Remove from history". FML

#20991949
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36238) - you deserved it (9668)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by The_Rest_of_the_Story (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML

#20723415
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45479) - you deserved it (2981)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, as I turned the shower on, I got covered in gravy. Turns out, my friends had unscrewed the shower head, filled it with gravy granules, then screwed it back on. FML

#19319473
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22281) - you deserved it (2559)

On 03/21/2012 at 7:46am - health - by J Rush - United Kingdom (Powys)

Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML

#18981474
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13543) - you deserved it (19893)

On 02/03/2012 at 12:25am - misc - by coleslaw (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35926) - you deserved it (7753)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML

#9143571
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34967) - you deserved it (2794)

On 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm - misc - by disturbed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for the fifth time, and all I could say was: "Can I have my parking permit back?" FML

#7451699
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6974) - you deserved it (24314)

On 01/20/2010 at 2:33am - love - by mapollis (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in my hot tub with my brand new phone. I set it down and when I grabbed my towel I knocked it into the water. I quickly snatched it up and dried it off with the towel and suprisingly only one button stopped working. It was the unlock button, a perfectly good phone that I can't use. FML

#6337523
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6221) - you deserved it (39554)

On 11/17/2009 at 1:48am - misc - by JakeHolmes (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got a red light camera ticket for $100 in the mail. After checking the date and time, I realized it was from when I was rear ended into the intersection while STOPPED at a red light. FML

#5658731
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38870) - you deserved it (1842)

On 10/05/2009 at 7:11am - misc - by corfan01 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I left my dog alone in the house for ten minutes while I took a shower. When I got out I found a mess of dust all over the floor and her ripping up a package that was supposed to be sent to my aunt. It contained my grandmother's ashes. FML

#3383261
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41768) - you deserved it (6606)

On 07/01/2009 at 12:31am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML

#1893907
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79614) - you deserved it (4279)

On 05/13/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by chaos2007 - United States (Texas)

Today, I had my car stolen. When the police found it, pretty much everything inside was missing. For some reason, I had left 6 pairs of shoes in my back seat. Whoever stole my car thought it would be funny to take one shoe from each pair. I now own 6 unmatched shoes and my car smells like sex. FML

#570871
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81640) - you deserved it (5498)

On 03/24/2009 at 1:44am - intimacy - by proudestmonkey (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I told my mom I was going through a growth spurt. She said "Yeah, horizontally." FML

#37276
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25799) - you deserved it (5750)

On 02/13/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by shorty (woman) - United States (New York)



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