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About MarisaMassacre : My name is Marisa, I am a sophomore in high school. I live in the worst state in the U.S... Florida. My life is pretty crazy so it should be interesting to have people make fun of what goes on.
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to take our first shower together. When he came into the room, he had swimming trunks on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26968) - you deserved it (3782)
On 12/31/2010 at 1:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. He then told me that he will love me forever, wait for me and will follow me to the ends of the earth. Apparently, that means standing outside my door and calling my house phone every five minutes. It's been 3 hours straight now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24222) - you deserved it (6436)
On 12/09/2010 at 1:00am - love - by Anonymous -
Today, I planned to drop a water balloon on my visiting prankster brother from my new apartment's balcony. As he crossed the street, I launched the balloon, and sent it right behind him. It hit an eight year old on a scooter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5153) - you deserved it (21463)
On 12/07/2010 at 11:20pm - misc - by bullseyed (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got mugged. After taking my cell phone, the guy politely said: "Thanks. Have a nice evening. Be careful on your way home." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23672) - you deserved it (1886)
On 12/07/2010 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Guatemala (Guatemala)
Today, I found out a guy I work with has an eye twitch. I thought he was just a winker. I have been winking back all week. He either thinks I'm an asshole or am trying to seduce him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8300) - you deserved it (12411)
On 12/06/2010 at 9:38am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that my mom doesn't know my phone number, but she does know the names of both of David Hasselhoff's daughters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13828) - you deserved it (2389)
On 12/06/2010 at 12:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I came home from work to find my five year old daughter drawing unicorns on the wall. The same wall that I had to repaint last week because it had puppies on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18112) - you deserved it (7542)
On 12/05/2010 at 8:53am - kids - by Ed - United States (California)
Today, my boss finally pronounced my name correctly. My name was then followed by the words "You're fired." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17527) - you deserved it (1418)
On 12/03/2010 at 7:14pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I got fired from the job I'd had for eleven years for going onto Facebook while on the clock. When I got home, I saw that my boss had updated his status, from work, to "Finally fired that bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23855) - you deserved it (6356)
On 12/03/2010 at 9:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was sat on by an obese woman. After screaming and squirming, she decided to notice me. Not until after she'd let out a fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27629) - you deserved it (2469)
On 12/03/2010 at 1:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, it was my birthday. My parents got me a box of cupcakes. My brother got me a deck of cards. My aunt got me a brochure on how to quit smoking. I have diabetes, I don't play cards, and I don't smoke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32105) - you deserved it (2132)
On 12/01/2010 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I'm at work as a security guard. At a morgue. Why am I here? FML
I agree, your life sucks (19081) - you deserved it (4001)
On 11/18/2010 at 10:04pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to school in my brand new shirt. It was loose fitting and a bit thin, so I wore a sweatshirt on top, intending to take it in once inside. When I got to my seat, I took off my sweatshirt, but also took off my shirt with it, flashing my whole class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19753) - you deserved it (7978)
On 11/18/2010 at 6:12pm - misc - by Amanda Ross - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boyfriend emailed me this morning to let me know that he had forwarded the joke that I had sent to him to all of his workmates and friends. He was quickly given the heads-up by one of his friends that all of our intimate emails from the day were also included. I'm dating a dumbass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17925) - you deserved it (5357)
On 11/18/2010 at 11:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I asked my boyfriend to try and man up and act a bit tougher. He started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26178) - you deserved it (12422)
On 11/17/2010 at 9:32pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
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