About MarisaMassacre : My name is Marisa, I am a sophomore in high school. I live in the worst state in the U.S... Florida. My life is pretty crazy so it should be interesting to have people make fun of what goes on.
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Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. He then told me that he will love me forever, wait for me and will follow me to the ends of the earth. Apparently, that means standing outside my door and calling my house phone every five minutes. It's been 3 hours straight now. FML
Today, I planned to drop a water balloon on my visiting prankster brother from my new apartment's balcony. As he crossed the street, I launched the balloon, and sent it right behind him. It hit an eight year old on a scooter. FML
by bullseyed / 12/07/2010 at 11:20pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/07/2010 at 11:09am / Guatemala (Guatemala) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/06/2010 at 9:38am / United States (New York) / Work
by Anonymous / 12/06/2010 at 12:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Ed / 12/05/2010 at 8:53am / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/03/2010 at 7:14pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I got fired from the job I'd had for eleven years for going onto Facebook while on the clock. When I got home, I saw that my boss had updated his status, from work, to "Finally fired that bitch." FML
by Anonymous / 12/03/2010 at 9:41am / United States (Rhode Island) / Work
Today, it was my birthday. My parents got me a box of cupcakes. My brother got me a deck of cards. My aunt got me a brochure on how to quit smoking. I have diabetes, I don't play cards, and I don't smoke. FML
by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 6:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/18/2010 at 10:04pm / United States / Work
Today, I went to school in my brand new shirt. It was loose fitting and a bit thin, so I wore a sweatshirt on top, intending to take it in once inside. When I got to my seat, I took off my sweatshirt, but also took off my shirt with it, flashing my whole class. FML
by Amanda Ross / 11/18/2010 at 6:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend emailed me this morning to let me know that he had forwarded the joke that I had sent to him to all of his workmates and friends. He was quickly given the heads-up by one of his friends that all of our intimate emails from the day were also included. I'm dating a dumbass. FML
by Anonymous / 11/18/2010 at 11:27am / United States (Virginia) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/17/2010 at 9:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, the highlight of my day was a conversation about Disney, which ranged from Pocahontas lunch boxes to Disneyland Paris. I don't know who was more excited; me, a 20 year old man, or the 6 year old girl I was talking to. FML
by Anonymous / 11/17/2010 at 2:08pm / United Kingdom / Kids
- Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long…