About Marie_Koushel : Dance is my passion and competition is my life
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Marie_Koushel's favorite FMLs
by JamiesMom / 05/13/2013 at 12:29am / United States (Michigan) / Animals
by Screwed Up / 05/09/2013 at 1:30am / United States / Health
by Alone / 05/06/2013 at 10:24am / United States (North Carolina) / Love
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
by SkeetinKeaton / 05/06/2013 at 2:29am / United States / Kids
Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML
by Anonymous / 05/05/2013 at 3:35pm / United States (Nebraska) / Love
by beyondembarrassed / 05/05/2013 at 1:44am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I finished a dance competition. With competitions, it requires you to wear a lot of makeup like false eyelashes and red lipstick. I went into a Starbucks to get a coffee and a boy around 18 asked me, in all seriousness, what my rate is for one night. FML
by dancer, not a hooker... / 05/05/2013 at 1:01am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to share my room with my cousin while she stayed over. I let her take my bed while I slept on the floor. Not only do my back and neck hurt, but I had to clean vomit out of my hair. Apparently, she "wasn't feeling well" last night. FML
by Anonymous / 05/04/2013 at 9:32am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend and I stressed out preparing for our one week holiday. We packed for the whole day, said goodbye to everyone and arrived at the airport quite exhausted after a 45-minute train ride. Turns out our flight isn't until tomorrow. The check-in lady couldn't stop laughing. FML
by Tickettoride / 05/04/2013 at 6:24am / Austria (Wien) / Holidays
Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML
by annoyedgirl / 05/03/2013 at 9:30pm / United States (Washington) / Work
by DemiRawrs / 05/01/2013 at 1:23pm / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 05/01/2013 at 11:55am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went on a run. Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog. I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled my ankle and fell. The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up. FML
by luvs2spooge89 / 05/01/2013 at 10:27am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy… Today, my manager sent me a text message with a picture of Santa masturbating, with a message that… Today, I got home from work early and discovered why my 17-year-old daughter's sprained elbow isn't…
- Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, I’m at this huge beach party in Thailand. I kiss a beautiful girl and decide to take it to… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because…