About Marie_Koushel : Dance is my passion and competition is my life
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Marie_Koushel's favorite FMLs
by ...thanks / 09/07/2013 at 10:17am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, at Walmart, a woman kept screaming at her husband for the most ridiculous reasons. My friend snickered that she must be on her period, prompting her to whirl around, storm over, and slap the hell out of me, thinking I was the one who said it. FML
by what's a rimjob between friends? / 09/06/2013 at 5:42pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, I had my first date in almost four years. Twenty minutes into our dinner date, I excused myself to use the ladies room. When I came back, not only was he gone, but there was also a security guard waiting to walk me out. I still have no clue why he left or why I got kicked out. FML
by thissinglelife / 09/06/2013 at 2:42am / United States (California) / Love
by single again / 09/05/2013 at 8:29pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, after my grandma did some early Halloween costume shopping, I witnessed her modeling a "sexy nurse" outfit. After seeing her bare thighs and most of her ass, I don't think I can eat cottage cheese ever again. FML
by fuck my liBLARGHSLJNAdlajdSzxz / 09/05/2013 at 12:39pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy
Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML
by down trodden / 09/05/2013 at 3:45am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend took me to a very elegant and expensive restaurant to celebrate our anniversary. When it came to the check, I volunteered to pitch in half, which he rejected by saying "I got it". Little did I know was that "I got it" was short for "I got your credit card". FML
by IGOTIT / 09/05/2013 at 3:24am / United States (California) / Transportation
by Python22 / 09/04/2013 at 8:52pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML
by dear god help me. / 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm / United States (Hawaii) / Work
by swana99 / 09/04/2013 at 4:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by mother to an ugly doll / 09/04/2013 at 2:10pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by resurrected / 09/04/2013 at 11:59am / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Work
by ven980 / 09/04/2013 at 3:00am / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids
Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML
by speechless / 07/13/2013 at 10:32am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML
by Stacy / 07/13/2013 at 12:22am / United States / Love
- Today, I met my brother for the first time in 20 years. Everything was going great, until he tried… Today, I reminded my husband that I was on my period, so he wouldn't try to fool around with me. A… Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire.…
- Today, I’m on vacation in Tunisia. Having trouble with the heat at night, I tried sleeping outside… Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one… Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus…