Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Maria_BVB_Army

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

Maria_BVB_Army

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 69
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Maria_BVB_Army : Music is my life

Maria_BVB_Army's page activity

Visits<b>Mons</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 2:15am<b>kitcat517</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 7:39am<b>TumblrAndStuff</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 2:24pm<b>daarkshadoow</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 8:32pm<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 5:11am<b>turtles_love</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 11:14pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 12:26am

Maria_BVB_Army's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Maria_BVB_Army's badges

Maria_BVB_Army's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that if you heckle a mime, it's possible that the mime will actually kick your ass. FML

#21283193
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13270) - you deserved it (29499)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by mr_cheese (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I laughed at my grandma's chihuahua poodle mix, as it barked at me entering the house. "What are you going to do, nibble me to death?" is apparently enough to make it jump and bite me. I needed five stitches. FML

#21280619
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27053) - you deserved it (10753)

On 10/18/2014 at 7:05pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned that if you give a squirrel a cookie, he'll climb up your pants in search of more cookies. FML

Today, my father described me as "the sort of sucker women marry then cheat on all the time." My mother agreed with him. FML

#21279077
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32218) - you deserved it (2958)

On 10/16/2014 at 1:07pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25336) - you deserved it (50530)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31029) - you deserved it (14277)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML

#21271220
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35257) - you deserved it (3015)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my dad forgot I was on the back of his motorbike. He did a wheelie and I fell off. FML

Today, someone in my class referred to the September 11th attacks as "Nine-Elevs". FML

#21255951
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35406) - you deserved it (2827)

On 09/10/2014 at 9:47pm - misc - by no - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41930) - you deserved it (11674)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML

#21248448
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32317) - you deserved it (5739)

On 08/30/2014 at 12:40pm - misc - by liilii (man) - India (Kerala)

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41308) - you deserved it (3213)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I asked my dad to give me a haircut. After 20 minutes of "fuck"s and "shit"s, he gave up and just shaved my head bald. I pull off the look so badly that two people I don't even know have already told me I look like a psychopath. FML

#21245833
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33632) - you deserved it (5438)

On 08/26/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by alanh69 (man) - United States (Iowa)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: