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Malteser95

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Malteser95

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Malteser95
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 March 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 368
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Malteser95 : Hi there! 😊💜 Welcome to my profile! 😄 I'm Julian, a 20 year old guy from the sunny island of Malta 😂☀️ I'm currently studying Psychology at university 📚 I love music, fashion, my friends, and of course Tumblr and FML 💙😃💜 If you'd like to get to know me better, just shoot me a message! 📬 I hope you have a lovely rest of the day 😂😄

Malteser95's page activity

Visits<b>lmbachman</b> - 39 minutes ago<b>Radgears47</b> - 2 hours ago<b>sophie_foster</b> - 5 hours ago<b>zilfy</b> - 9 hours ago<b>i_love_him_</b> - 23 hours ago<b>FuckingLifeMan</b> - yesterday at 10:16am<b>ranger2867</b> - yesterday at 8:06pm<b>AscendV</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 11:17am<b>Kirito_Kazuto</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 10:39am<b>AliceAshiteru</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 9:59am<b>ZoeeeGuyss</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 11:04pm<b>princesshulkk</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 10:47pm<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 9:25pm<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 6:30pm<b>jayray313</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 3:32pm<b>twinlovedyou</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 1:47pm<b>Dexter83</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 6:23am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 5:18pm

Fucked!<b>Radgears47</b> - just now<b>Gillett</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 8:41pm<b>random_funnygirl</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 5:21pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 9:35am<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 8:52am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 12:50pm<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 6:30pm<b>ILikeKoalas</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 11:18am<b>Smennant</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 7:15pm<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 4:05pm<b>DamnBailie</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 10:12pm<b>my_account_</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:48pm

Malteser95's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of Malteser95's badges

Malteser95's favorite FMLs

Today, I ate at Subway during my lunch hour. A group of teenage girls sat down at the table next to mine. They all shared good laugh about the "friendless, chubby chick" sitting near them, while attempting to discreetly point at me. FML

#21317606
134 comments

Today, I found out I sent several embarrassing videos while under the influence of the meds I was given while getting my wisdom teeth out. When I asked my mom why she didn't take my phone, she said she tried but I started whining and growling at her. FML

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

#21237548
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38385) - you deserved it (6026)

On 08/14/2014 at 4:44pm - kids - by cahsecuel (woman) - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML

#20937007
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45521) - you deserved it (3037)

On 10/28/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Greg (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, on his way out of our apartment, my roommate's friend reached over and grabbed a handful of my popcorn. I was only mildly annoyed, until a little later, when I pulled out from between my teeth what could only have been a pubic hair. FML

#20808032
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41889) - you deserved it (3159)

On 07/28/2013 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovenia (Ruse Commune)

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

#20091141
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36203) - you deserved it (2655)

On 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by linn (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that the "holla" tattoo I stupidly got on my lower lip five years ago isn't fading as I expected it to, and will probably contribute to my unemployment for years to come. FML

#19376711
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5813) - you deserved it (67101)

On 03/30/2012 at 3:13pm - work - by bananamuffin - United States

Today, I went to see a dinosaur exhibition with my mum. We walked around and saw a huge dinosaur, made of plastic and rubber. She was very disappointed, saying that she thought there would be real live dinosaurs for us to see. FML

#19309330
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26566) - you deserved it (2274)

On 03/19/2012 at 7:43pm - animals - by bibi (woman) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

#18202922
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30044) - you deserved it (22287)

On 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, some ballbag broke into my house just to take my broom. FML

#17278350
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26772) - you deserved it (2692)

On 07/27/2011 at 9:50am - misc - by kelsjenks - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that the peaceful rain I'd been listening to all night was really a broken water-main flooding my entire yard. FML

#16309963
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32231) - you deserved it (3815)

On 05/23/2011 at 6:17am - misc - by elle -

Today, I noticed that in my cover letter I wrote "I also have an eye.", instead of "I also have an eye for details.", and I have been sending it out for the past few weeks. No wonder I haven't gotten any replies. FML

#6299927
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8965) - you deserved it (28396)

On 11/14/2009 at 11:52am - work - by crazylobster (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend and were I getting it on in his bedroom where he had all of his anime models on display. I accidentally knocked over one of his models and it fell on to the floor. He got angry and kicked me out. Apparently, making his models look good was more important than us making love. FML

#3898181
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38051) - you deserved it (11784)

On 07/20/2009 at 2:18am - love - by mchhhoi (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML

#226271
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27875) - you deserved it (38285)

On 03/06/2009 at 1:53pm - work - by Can't Spell Worth A Damn (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

#221601
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48318) - you deserved it (26347)

On 03/05/2009 at 9:27pm - misc - by mr.palendrome (man) - United States (New York)



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