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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 March 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1411
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Malteser95 : Hi there! 😊💜 Welcome to my profile! 😄 I'm Julian, a 20 year old gay guy from the sunny island of Malta 😂☀️ I'm currently studying Psychology at university 📚 I love music, fashion, my friends, and of course Tumblr and FML 💙😃💜 If you'd like to get to know me better, just shoot me a message! 📬 I hope you have a lovely rest of the day 😂😄

Malteser95's page activity

Visits<b>carleybeak</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 8:52pm<b>Zarvist</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 4:09am<b>crazy_bananas</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 3:06am<b>French_giirl</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 6:14pm<b>felixvdl</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 5:57am<b>slapstick1982</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 9:52am<b>yanalynch</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 7:04pm<b>HelloKiittyy</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 10:31am<b>Jennapea</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 5:48pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 5:09pm<b>perfectsummer10</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 2:52pm<b>alohaui</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 7:02am<b>meltingturtle</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 12:52pm<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 12:10pm<b>2simz</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 1:27am<b>Badasiwannabe</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 6:16pm<b>lovelylucifer</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 10:10am<b>holymacabre</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 6:10pm

Fucked!<b>alohaui</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 1:02pm<b>LeapingLizards12</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 9:22am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 3:03pm<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 8:47am<b>jdscott28</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 8:20am<b>tranced_</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 7:16pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 6:01am<b>luc887</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 5:47pm<b>CammyGal</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 7:33am<b>supermarxiste75</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 12:31am<b>jesterinperil</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 5:51am<b>mld4657</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 5:56am<b>dakotadavisbruh</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 6:57am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 8:27pm<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 11:38am<b>a3gab</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 4:01pm<b>andrmac</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 1:26am<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 7:10pm

Malteser95's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Malteser95's badges

Malteser95's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend canceled our date last-minute. He claimed he had no time because he had to iron his towels. FML

by Anonymous / 11/18/2015 at 6:40am / Austria (Wien) / Love

Today, a dog bit me on the bus. Instead of apologising, its owner said it was my fault because my hands "must smell of meat". I'm a vegetarian. FML

by alaillama / 06/30/2015 at 6:19pm / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML

by imblue42 / 06/24/2015 at 1:16am / United States / Love

Today, a guy hit on me. It's such a rare occurrence that I didn't know how to react, so I panicked and said "Sorry, I have to go!" Then I remembered we were on a bus, and just turned around and awkwardly pretended he wasn't there. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2015 at 9:58am / United States / Transportation

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

by SDCore / 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ate at Subway during my lunch hour. A group of teenage girls sat down at the table next to mine. They all shared good laugh about the "friendless, chubby chick" sitting near them, while attempting to discreetly point at me. FML

by endure_survive / 12/14/2014 at 10:17pm / New Zealand (Waikato) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out I sent several embarrassing videos while under the influence of the meds I was given while getting my wisdom teeth out. When I asked my mom why she didn't take my phone, she said she tried but I started whining and growling at her. FML

by sydspears3 / 09/09/2014 at 2:08pm / United States (Florida) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

by cahsecuel / 08/14/2014 at 4:44pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Kids

Today, I was waiting on a Canadian tourist at work, and he bought some of the most expensive stuff on the menu. I was excited about maybe getting a big tip, so I casually said that in the USA, waiters make most of our money off tips. The guy just snorted, "Sucks to be American, eh?!" and left. FML

by yes, yes it does :( / 04/30/2014 at 5:11pm / United States / Work

Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML

by Greg / 10/28/2013 at 5:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, on his way out of our apartment, my roommate's friend reached over and grabbed a handful of my popcorn. I was only mildly annoyed, until a little later, when I pulled out from between my teeth what could only have been a pubic hair. FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 1:38pm / Slovenia (Ruse Commune) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

by linn / 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML

by dumbasdogshit / 08/10/2012 at 8:45pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I realized that the "holla" tattoo I stupidly got on my lower lip five years ago isn't fading as I expected it to, and will probably contribute to my unemployment for years to come. FML

by bananamuffin / 03/30/2012 at 3:13pm / United States / Work

Today, I went to see a dinosaur exhibition with my mum. We walked around and saw a huge dinosaur, made of plastic and rubber. She was very disappointed, saying that she thought there would be real live dinosaurs for us to see. FML

by bibi / 03/19/2012 at 7:43pm / Slovenia (Bohinj) / Animals