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Malik

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Malik
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 December 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 12577
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Malik : I am Malik.

I'm a video gamer. I love movies and a lot of TV shows.

I love me some Beatles, though other artists I love are Bob Dylan, Radiohead, Jimi Hendrix, Eric Clapton, George Harrison, John Lennon, Roisin Murphy, BB King, and Marvin Gaye.

Stumbled upon this website while back and I absolutely love it. There are some truly hilarious and awkward moments posted on this website and I can spend hours reading.

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Malik's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Malik's favorite FMLs

Today, I broke the glass of the photocopier trying to photocopy my ass. My boss will be here in five hours. She'll know it was me. I'm the only night guardian. FML

#1986
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4498) - you deserved it (36274)

On 01/21/2009 at 5:03am - work - by Wititipwitpwit - Sent from mobile version

Today, I broke the glass of the photocopier trying to photocopy my ass. My boss will be here in five hours. She'll know it was me. I'm the only night guardian. FML

#1986
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4498) - you deserved it (36274)

On 01/21/2009 at 5:03am - work - by Wititipwitpwit - Sent from mobile version

Today, I broke the glass of the photocopier trying to photocopy my ass. My boss will be here in five hours. She'll know it was me. I'm the only night guardian. FML

#1986
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4498) - you deserved it (36274)

On 01/21/2009 at 5:03am - work - by Wititipwitpwit - Sent from mobile version

Today, I broke the glass of the photocopier trying to photocopy my ass. My boss will be here in five hours. She'll know it was me. I'm the only night guardian. FML

#1986
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4498) - you deserved it (36274)

On 01/21/2009 at 5:03am - work - by Wititipwitpwit - Sent from mobile version

Today, I broke the glass of the photocopier trying to photocopy my ass. My boss will be here in five hours. She'll know it was me. I'm the only night guardian. FML

#1986
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4498) - you deserved it (36274)

On 01/21/2009 at 5:03am - work - by Wititipwitpwit - Sent from mobile version

Today, I broke the glass of the photocopier trying to photocopy my ass. My boss will be here in five hours. She'll know it was me. I'm the only night guardian. FML

#1986
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4498) - you deserved it (36274)

On 01/21/2009 at 5:03am - work - by Wititipwitpwit - Sent from mobile version

Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML

#1702
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25636) - you deserved it (8377)

On 01/19/2009 at 5:26am - money - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I threw a rock in the air and watched it soar. And watched it come back down and hit me in the face. Gravity. FML

#1028
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5241) - you deserved it (42244)

On 01/13/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Gale - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

#552
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48379) - you deserved it (5854)

On 12/19/2008 at 11:05am - intimacy - by chicochico - Sent from mobile version

Today, my wife, in her magnificent wedding dress, had her period during the ceremony. How did I find out? The same way everyone else did. FML

#505
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42232) - you deserved it (2278)

On 12/13/2008 at 12:48am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tried demonstrate to my little brother that, unlike what he sees in cartoons, it is impossible to slip on a banana peel. I'm not too sure he's convinced. FML

#336
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5789) - you deserved it (22880)

On 11/18/2008 at 10:44pm - kids - by j0j0 - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I lost my cell phone. But found it again! And then dropped it in the toilet. FML

#21
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39244) - you deserved it (18982)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:30am - money - by enjoy -

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

#20
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41637) - you deserved it (7157)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:29am - animals - by aXel -

Today, I was lying on the bed with my boyfriend. We were watching his cell phone when an automatic reminder message came on the screen: "Do not forget to tell a lie to babe about going out this Friday". FML

#13
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (96165) - you deserved it (13968)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:23am - love - by Sarah91 -

Today, for the first time I sat next to a hot babe. I was feeling nervous, nevertheless, I managed to shyly ask her phone number. It’s only when I arrived back home that I realized there was a digit missing. FML

#11
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52893) - you deserved it (12610)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:22am - misc - by mehdi-online -



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