Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Malik

Search for a member

Malik

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 December 1991 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13127
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Malik : I am Malik.

I'm a video gamer. I love movies and a lot of TV shows.

I love me some Beatles, though other artists I love are Bob Dylan, Radiohead, Jimi Hendrix, Eric Clapton, George Harrison, John Lennon, Roisin Murphy, BB King, and Marvin Gaye.

Stumbled upon this website while back and I absolutely love it. There are some truly hilarious and awkward moments posted on this website and I can spend hours reading.

Malik's page activity

Visits<b>blackassmountain</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 10:43am<b>punter123</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 6:53am<b>swasher</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 11:38am<b>averbell</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 5:51pm<b>emxy92</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 8:00pm<b>meepmerp</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 11:58pm<b>notapedophile79</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 3:54pm<b>comadivine</b> - the 06/07/2013 at 12:14pm<b>gunstoner</b> - the 02/19/2013 at 1:45pm<b>Racky</b> - the 03/05/2012 at 2:48am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:27pm<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 11/08/2010 at 6:47pm<b>chemz</b> - the 08/01/2010 at 9:17am<b>Yara_0224</b> - the 03/17/2010 at 4:21pm<b>Ajjas013</b> - the 03/12/2010 at 11:58pm<b>SickSickSick7511</b> - the 01/05/2010 at 5:12am<b>Marius24</b> - the 11/12/2009 at 9:28am<b>603050294</b> - the 10/04/2009 at 4:02am

Malik's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Malik's favorite FMLs

Today, I broke the glass of the photocopier trying to photocopy my ass. My boss will be here in five hours. She'll know it was me. I'm the only night guardian. FML

#1986
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5381) - you deserved it (40681)

On 01/21/2009 at 5:03am - work - by Wititipwitpwit - Sent from mobile version

Today, I broke the glass of the photocopier trying to photocopy my ass. My boss will be here in five hours. She'll know it was me. I'm the only night guardian. FML

#1986
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5381) - you deserved it (40681)

On 01/21/2009 at 5:03am - work - by Wititipwitpwit - Sent from mobile version

Today, I broke the glass of the photocopier trying to photocopy my ass. My boss will be here in five hours. She'll know it was me. I'm the only night guardian. FML

#1986
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5381) - you deserved it (40681)

On 01/21/2009 at 5:03am - work - by Wititipwitpwit - Sent from mobile version

Today, I broke the glass of the photocopier trying to photocopy my ass. My boss will be here in five hours. She'll know it was me. I'm the only night guardian. FML

#1986
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5381) - you deserved it (40681)

On 01/21/2009 at 5:03am - work - by Wititipwitpwit - Sent from mobile version

Today, I broke the glass of the photocopier trying to photocopy my ass. My boss will be here in five hours. She'll know it was me. I'm the only night guardian. FML

#1986
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5381) - you deserved it (40681)

On 01/21/2009 at 5:03am - work - by Wititipwitpwit - Sent from mobile version

Today, I broke the glass of the photocopier trying to photocopy my ass. My boss will be here in five hours. She'll know it was me. I'm the only night guardian. FML

#1986
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5381) - you deserved it (40681)

On 01/21/2009 at 5:03am - work - by Wititipwitpwit - Sent from mobile version

Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML

#1702
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27606) - you deserved it (8864)

On 01/19/2009 at 5:26am - money - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I threw a rock in the air and watched it soar. And watched it come back down and hit me in the face. Gravity. FML

#1028
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5782) - you deserved it (44541)

On 01/13/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Gale - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

#552
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51808) - you deserved it (6303)

On 12/19/2008 at 11:05am - intimacy - by chicochico - Sent from mobile version

Today, my wife, in her magnificent wedding dress, had her period during the ceremony. How did I find out? The same way everyone else did. FML

#505
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44146) - you deserved it (2406)

On 12/13/2008 at 12:48am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tried demonstrate to my little brother that, unlike what he sees in cartoons, it is impossible to slip on a banana peel. I'm not too sure he's convinced. FML

#336
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7671) - you deserved it (31086)

On 11/18/2008 at 10:44pm - kids - by j0j0 - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I lost my cell phone. But found it again! And then dropped it in the toilet. FML

#21
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42538) - you deserved it (20420)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:30am - money - by enjoy -

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

#20
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45429) - you deserved it (7583)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:29am - animals - by aXel -

Today, I was lying on the bed with my boyfriend. We were watching his cell phone when an automatic reminder message came on the screen: "Do not forget to tell a lie to babe about going out this Friday". FML

#13
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102834) - you deserved it (15092)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:23am - love - by Sarah91 -

Today, for the first time I sat next to a hot babe. I was feeling nervous, nevertheless, I managed to shyly ask her phone number. It’s only when I arrived back home that I realized there was a digit missing. FML

#11
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59874) - you deserved it (16223)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:22am - misc - by mehdi-online -



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: