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Malik

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Malik

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 December 1991 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13133
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Malik : I am Malik.

I'm a video gamer. I love movies and a lot of TV shows.

I love me some Beatles, though other artists I love are Bob Dylan, Radiohead, Jimi Hendrix, Eric Clapton, George Harrison, John Lennon, Roisin Murphy, BB King, and Marvin Gaye.

Stumbled upon this website while back and I absolutely love it. There are some truly hilarious and awkward moments posted on this website and I can spend hours reading.

Malik's page activity

Visits<b>blackassmountain</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 10:43am<b>punter123</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 6:53am<b>swasher</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 11:38am<b>averbell</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 5:51pm<b>emxy92</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 8:00pm<b>meepmerp</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 11:58pm<b>notapedophile79</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 3:54pm<b>comadivine</b> - the 06/07/2013 at 12:14pm<b>gunstoner</b> - the 02/19/2013 at 1:45pm<b>Racky</b> - the 03/05/2012 at 2:48am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:27pm<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 11/08/2010 at 6:47pm<b>chemz</b> - the 08/01/2010 at 9:17am<b>Yara_0224</b> - the 03/17/2010 at 4:21pm<b>Ajjas013</b> - the 03/12/2010 at 11:58pm<b>SickSickSick7511</b> - the 01/05/2010 at 5:12am<b>Marius24</b> - the 11/12/2009 at 9:28am<b>603050294</b> - the 10/04/2009 at 4:02am

Malik's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Malik's favorite FMLs

Today, at the elementary school where I teach, the kids all voted for their favorite teacher. I was the only one to receive zero votes. When I asked a small group of students why no one voted for me, one boy replied "because you're the ugliest". FML

#8789
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46242) - you deserved it (3526)

On 02/04/2009 at 7:40pm - kids - by teach - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML

#8687
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34224) - you deserved it (13279)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:29pm - animals - by EpicFail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML

#8630
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47515) - you deserved it (2328)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:04pm - intimacy - by Sleeper_C3ll (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I discovered my mom has over 20 sites bookmarked on her laptop, all having to do with 'How To Boost Your Insecure Teen's Confidence' or 'How To Help Your Overweight Teen Have A Positive Self Image'. Thanks, mommy. FML

#8629
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28757) - you deserved it (6182)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:04pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said "That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream." FML

#8528
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31672) - you deserved it (2093)

On 02/04/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by 918boyz (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I hooked up with this man for the first time. He takes his shirt off and has a chestful of black hair. He had his name shaved into it. FML

#8288
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35802) - you deserved it (7756)

On 02/04/2009 at 3:20pm - love - by banana (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a guy in the library came up to me and said, "You look very unproductive. It makes me depressed just watching you". FML

#7920
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25178) - you deserved it (4154)

On 02/04/2009 at 12:04pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked past a girl in the cafeteria and she threw up. Naturally, a crowd was drawn. Her friend asked her what was wrong. She pointed at me and said, "Get him away from me!" I had never met this girl. FML

#7894
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39966) - you deserved it (2204)

On 02/04/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by disgusting (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was driving and stopped behind a person at a stop sign. Their car didn't move for about 1 minute. I got out of my car yelling at the person. It was an old woman. She wasn't breathing. FML

#7876
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16238) - you deserved it (31333)

On 02/04/2009 at 11:44am - health - by Harejordan (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving and stopped behind a person at a stop sign. Their car didn't move for about 1 minute. I got out of my car yelling at the person. It was an old woman. She wasn't breathing. FML

#7876
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16238) - you deserved it (31333)

On 02/04/2009 at 11:44am - health - by Harejordan (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving and stopped behind a person at a stop sign. Their car didn't move for about 1 minute. I got out of my car yelling at the person. It was an old woman. She wasn't breathing. FML

#7876
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16238) - you deserved it (31333)

On 02/04/2009 at 11:44am - health - by Harejordan (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was running to the bus stop to catch the bus. The bus driver smiled, waved, and drove away without letting me get on. FML

#7793
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31547) - you deserved it (2323)

On 02/04/2009 at 11:06am - misc - by seriously?? - United States (Florida)

Today, I was running to the bus stop to catch the bus. The bus driver smiled, waved, and drove away without letting me get on. FML

#7793
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31547) - you deserved it (2323)

On 02/04/2009 at 11:06am - misc - by seriously?? - United States (Florida)

Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML

Today, I took a big sip of water while on a bus. It went down the wrong pipe, causing me to cough and hack loudly. The old woman sitting across from me asked if I was okay. Jokingly, I said, "Just dying." She replied, "You too, huh?" FML

#7761
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8616) - you deserved it (28824)

On 02/04/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by suicide (man) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

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  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

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