Malik

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Malik

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 December 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14701
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Malik : I am Malik.

I'm a video gamer. I love movies and a lot of TV shows.

I love me some Beatles, though other artists I love are Bob Dylan, Radiohead, Jimi Hendrix, Eric Clapton, George Harrison, John Lennon, Roisin Murphy, BB King, and Marvin Gaye.

Stumbled upon this website while back and I absolutely love it. There are some truly hilarious and awkward moments posted on this website and I can spend hours reading.

Malik's page activity

Visits<b>saxyguy</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 4:36pm<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 4:45pm<b>epicx22</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 11:33pm<b>Caro97songs</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 10:53am<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 6:05pm<b>patts_</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 8:38am<b>augenblake</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 5:36pm<b>blackassmountain</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 10:43am<b>punter123</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 6:53am<b>swasher</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 11:38am<b>averbell</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 5:51pm<b>emxy92</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 8:00pm<b>meepmerp</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 11:58pm<b>notapedophile79</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 3:54pm<b>comadivine</b> - the 06/07/2013 at 12:14pm<b>gunstoner</b> - the 02/19/2013 at 1:45pm<b>Racky</b> - the 03/05/2012 at 2:48am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:27pm

Fucked!<b>patts_</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 2:38pm

Malik's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Malik's favorite FMLs

Today, at the elementary school where I teach, the kids all voted for their favorite teacher. I was the only one to receive zero votes. When I asked a small group of students why no one voted for me, one boy replied "because you're the ugliest". FML

by teach / 02/04/2009 at 7:40pm / Canada (Quebec) / Kids

Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML

by EpicFail / 02/04/2009 at 6:29pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML

by Sleeper_C3ll / 02/04/2009 at 6:04pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered my mom has over 20 sites bookmarked on her laptop, all having to do with 'How To Boost Your Insecure Teen's Confidence' or 'How To Help Your Overweight Teen Have A Positive Self Image'. Thanks, mommy. FML

by Noname / 02/04/2009 at 6:04pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said "That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream." FML

by 918boyz / 02/04/2009 at 5:23pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I hooked up with this man for the first time. He takes his shirt off and has a chestful of black hair. He had his name shaved into it. FML

by banana / 02/04/2009 at 3:20pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, a guy in the library came up to me and said, "You look very unproductive. It makes me depressed just watching you". FML

by Noname / 02/04/2009 at 12:04pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked past a girl in the cafeteria and she threw up. Naturally, a crowd was drawn. Her friend asked her what was wrong. She pointed at me and said, "Get him away from me!" I had never met this girl. FML

by disgusting / 02/04/2009 at 11:51am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving and stopped behind a person at a stop sign. Their car didn't move for about 1 minute. I got out of my car yelling at the person. It was an old woman. She wasn't breathing. FML

by Harejordan / 02/04/2009 at 11:44am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was driving and stopped behind a person at a stop sign. Their car didn't move for about 1 minute. I got out of my car yelling at the person. It was an old woman. She wasn't breathing. FML

by Harejordan / 02/04/2009 at 11:44am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was driving and stopped behind a person at a stop sign. Their car didn't move for about 1 minute. I got out of my car yelling at the person. It was an old woman. She wasn't breathing. FML

by Harejordan / 02/04/2009 at 11:44am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was running to the bus stop to catch the bus. The bus driver smiled, waved, and drove away without letting me get on. FML

by seriously?? / 02/04/2009 at 11:06am / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, I was running to the bus stop to catch the bus. The bus driver smiled, waved, and drove away without letting me get on. FML

by seriously?? / 02/04/2009 at 11:06am / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML

by rexob / 02/04/2009 at 10:51am / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took a big sip of water while on a bus. It went down the wrong pipe, causing me to cough and hack loudly. The old woman sitting across from me asked if I was okay. Jokingly, I said, "Just dying." She replied, "You too, huh?" FML

by suicide / 02/04/2009 at 10:48am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation