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Malik

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Malik

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 December 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14039
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Malik : I am Malik.

I'm a video gamer. I love movies and a lot of TV shows.

I love me some Beatles, though other artists I love are Bob Dylan, Radiohead, Jimi Hendrix, Eric Clapton, George Harrison, John Lennon, Roisin Murphy, BB King, and Marvin Gaye.

Stumbled upon this website while back and I absolutely love it. There are some truly hilarious and awkward moments posted on this website and I can spend hours reading.

Malik's page activity

Visits<b>patts_</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 8:38am<b>augenblake</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 5:36pm<b>blackassmountain</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 10:43am<b>punter123</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 6:53am<b>swasher</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 11:38am<b>averbell</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 5:51pm<b>emxy92</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 8:00pm<b>meepmerp</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 11:58pm<b>notapedophile79</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 3:54pm<b>comadivine</b> - the 06/07/2013 at 12:14pm<b>gunstoner</b> - the 02/19/2013 at 1:45pm<b>Racky</b> - the 03/05/2012 at 2:48am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:27pm<b></b> - the 03/09/2011 at 11:06pm<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 11/08/2010 at 6:47pm<b>chemz</b> - the 08/01/2010 at 9:17am<b>Yara_0224</b> - the 03/17/2010 at 4:21pm<b>Ajjas013</b> - the 03/12/2010 at 11:58pm

Fucked!<b>patts_</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 2:38pm

Malik's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Malik's favorite FMLs

Today, I hung out with a friend who has been too busy to hang out with me in a few months. I decided to make the day super special with fun plans and spent a lot of money doing so. When I got home, her facebook status said "Pointless day, gone to bed". FML

#11273
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34550) - you deserved it (2439)

On 02/06/2009 at 9:28am - misc - by pointlessperson (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML

#10978
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8125) - you deserved it (48351)

On 02/05/2009 at 7:55pm - misc - by frenchy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I finally stood up to a bully who had been messing with me for over a year. His response? He picked up the chair I was sitting in and threw me across the room. FML

#10740
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34766) - you deserved it (3677)

On 02/05/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my anatomy teacher was putting together a skeleton model for class. He had misplaced the leg bone, so I thoughtfully asked, "What's the matter, lose a leg?" Unfortunately, there's nothing thoughtful about asking that question to a guy with an amputated leg. FML

#10699
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6903) - you deserved it (30873)

On 02/05/2009 at 5:56pm - misc - by Foot In Mouth (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years sent me a text messages saying, "Don't worry I'm gonna break up with her soon. Love you." FML

#10627
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65488) - you deserved it (2855)

On 02/05/2009 at 5:29pm - misc - by nycgirl424 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was awarding medals to finalists in a school club. While putting one around someones neck, I ended up poking a girl in the eye. She tried to be a trooper by continuing to walk across stage but i guess her eyes got really watery because she missed the step and fell, breaking her ankle. FML

#10323
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23269) - you deserved it (7094)

On 02/05/2009 at 3:13pm - misc - by Craig (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I discovered in my house a drawer full of chocolates, cookies and baked goods. When I asked my sister what the drawer was, she told me that my mom thought it would be a good idea to hide the fattening foods from me. My entire family had known about the food drawer except me. FML

#9673
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26953) - you deserved it (7393)

On 02/05/2009 at 10:24am - health - by Tori (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my phone rang for the first time in four days. It was my mom. She dialed the wrong number. FML

#9653
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41395) - you deserved it (2909)

On 02/05/2009 at 10:14am - love - by lonely (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML

#9514
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65662) - you deserved it (25177)

On 02/05/2009 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Foxy (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got fired from my job. I worked for my parents. FML

#9285
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38084) - you deserved it (9836)

On 02/05/2009 at 6:41am - work - by fml (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got fired from my job. I worked for my parents. FML

#9285
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38084) - you deserved it (9836)

On 02/05/2009 at 6:41am - work - by fml (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to the doctor's office because I was sick. The male nurse led me back and when he weighed me, he said "Why do I get all the beefy girls today?". FML

#9160
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33790) - you deserved it (5034)

On 02/05/2009 at 5:05am - health - by makinascene (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to the doctor's office because I was sick. The male nurse led me back and when he weighed me, he said "Why do I get all the beefy girls today?". FML

#9160
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33790) - you deserved it (5034)

On 02/05/2009 at 5:05am - health - by makinascene (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my wife left me the following voicemail: “Alex, last night was amazing. You took me to places I’ve never been to before. I can’t wait to see you tonight after work.” My name is Rob. We haven’t had sex in two years. FML

#9051
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57049) - you deserved it (8478)

On 02/05/2009 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Barrel - United States (Missouri)

Today, I walked past a man handing out miniature Bibles on my way to class. He handed me one, commenting "here, you look like you need this." FML

#8842
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21297) - you deserved it (4196)

On 02/04/2009 at 8:18pm - misc - by Michigan (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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