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Malik

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Malik

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 December 1991 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13232
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Malik : I am Malik.

I'm a video gamer. I love movies and a lot of TV shows.

I love me some Beatles, though other artists I love are Bob Dylan, Radiohead, Jimi Hendrix, Eric Clapton, George Harrison, John Lennon, Roisin Murphy, BB King, and Marvin Gaye.

Stumbled upon this website while back and I absolutely love it. There are some truly hilarious and awkward moments posted on this website and I can spend hours reading.

Malik's page activity

Visits<b>blackassmountain</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 10:43am<b>punter123</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 6:53am<b>swasher</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 11:38am<b>averbell</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 5:51pm<b>emxy92</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 8:00pm<b>meepmerp</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 11:58pm<b>notapedophile79</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 3:54pm<b>comadivine</b> - the 06/07/2013 at 12:14pm<b>gunstoner</b> - the 02/19/2013 at 1:45pm<b>Racky</b> - the 03/05/2012 at 2:48am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:27pm<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 11/08/2010 at 6:47pm<b>chemz</b> - the 08/01/2010 at 9:17am<b>Yara_0224</b> - the 03/17/2010 at 4:21pm<b>Ajjas013</b> - the 03/12/2010 at 11:58pm<b>SickSickSick7511</b> - the 01/05/2010 at 5:12am<b>Marius24</b> - the 11/12/2009 at 9:28am<b>603050294</b> - the 10/04/2009 at 4:02am

Malik's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Malik's favorite FMLs

Today, my 9 year old nephew found his way onto my iTunes. I now have 401 songs titled "aidfj3P" by "ffjiel". FML

#3115220
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55897) - you deserved it (6606)

On 06/22/2009 at 9:32am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice "oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML

#2308066
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71268) - you deserved it (18463)

On 05/26/2009 at 12:53pm - intimacy - by alexis89 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was babysitting a four year old. He was mad and began hitting me. I told him to use his words not his fists when he's mad. He then began telling me how much he hated me and that I should go die and never come back. FML

#1474084
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45056) - you deserved it (17392)

On 04/29/2009 at 9:34pm - kids - by GirlinGreen - United States (Washington)

Today, my friends and I saw a movie. We sat in the balcony. Halfway during the movie we heard a commotion, thinking it was a group of unruly teenagers like us, we began to pelt the lower half of the theater with candy. We later learned that it was a man having a heart attack. FML

#844380
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9829) - you deserved it (90754)

On 04/06/2009 at 10:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

#527563
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (174235) - you deserved it (30374)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, I was excited because I was going to get my college decisions back. I put all of the letters in order of my preference. Didn't get into my first choice. Denied from my second choice. Rejected from my third choice. Wait listed on my back-up. Accepted for a job at Target. FML

#306023
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66955) - you deserved it (9222)

On 03/13/2009 at 5:09pm - misc - by sadsenior (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boss had to leave the house for a little while. She asked me to take any messages she got. I answered the phone and lady calling said she was returning her call about the opening for a nanny position. I am the current nanny. I found out I am being fired by the new nanny. FML

#260978
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56951) - you deserved it (2627)

On 03/10/2009 at 2:52pm - work - by nannynomore (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got talking to a really hot guy at a party. He told me that he was only here because he heard the host would sleep with anyone, and he and his buddies had a bet going. It was my party. FML

#67236
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42071) - you deserved it (18544)

On 02/18/2009 at 9:15am - love - by Sandra (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I woke up to the sound of scissors. My mom was cutting my hair while I was asleep. FML

#66858
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56705) - you deserved it (4752)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by w_t_f (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was instructed by my boss to welcome the 2 new foreign business partners since I am the only one who could speak their language. When they arrived I greeted them in their language. One of them scratched his head and asked his companion in plain and clear English, "What did he say?" FML

#45177
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32512) - you deserved it (4428)

On 02/15/2009 at 1:21am - misc - by Salaryman (man) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I cancelled out of a video chat with my boyfriend to go take a dump. I took my computer with me to look at Facebook. It took three minutes for me to realize I was still on video chat. FML

#43092
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13571) - you deserved it (48598)

On 02/14/2009 at 6:05pm - misc - by videochat (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I returned home from college for the first time in a month. I went to my bedroom and found a nice gift bag on my dresser. Thinking it was a Valentine's gift, I opened it. My dog's ashes were in a tin inside. This is how I found out my dog died since I was away. FML

#42474
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45316) - you deserved it (1918)

On 02/14/2009 at 3:50pm - animals - by Anne (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML

#30273
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21045) - you deserved it (48813)

On 02/12/2009 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Evil_Egbert (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)



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