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Maleficus

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Maleficus

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1105
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Maleficus's page activity

Visits<b>TaylorWhiteGirl</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 11:18pm<b>notabeachbabe</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 6:55pm<b>HelloooooNurse</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 4:53pm

Maleficus's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of Maleficus's badges

Maleficus's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I switched phones by accident. I've already received several naked pictures from one of his co-workers. FML

#20898640
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56279) - you deserved it (3750)

On 09/28/2013 at 12:08am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, even though I don't necessarily believe in soul mates, I found out my wife does. She met hers a few weeks ago. FML

#20896483
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41753) - you deserved it (3293)

On 09/26/2013 at 2:54am - love - by NotTheSoulMate (man) - United States

Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML

#20889450
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58265) - you deserved it (4831)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:30pm - intimacy - by oops - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

#20889434
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44887) - you deserved it (29734)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML

#20889155
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44892) - you deserved it (3043)

On 09/20/2013 at 5:00pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Szeged)

Today, I walked in on my daughter shaving the testicles of her boyfriend, who had apparently snuck in through her window. FML

#20888905
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50918) - you deserved it (5097)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by disappointed (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I helped my brother propose to his girlfriend of 5 years in the spot where they had first met. As he delivered his heartfelt speech, a sizable crowd appeared. When he got down on one knee, she punched him in the gut, yelled, "I never loved you", and ran away. Now he won't talk to me. FML

#20887080
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46058) - you deserved it (2828)

On 09/18/2013 at 9:45pm - love - by ElizaZee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, every time I write the word "analyst," I can't help but giggle because it begins with "anal." I'm 24, and studying to be a conflict analyst. FML

#20886867
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18307) - you deserved it (27960)

On 09/18/2013 at 6:59pm - work - by Sunny (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my roommate Skypes my friends on my laptop when I'm away. Not only that, he covers his face and shows them his junk. My friends no longer answer Skype calls from me. FML

#20886799
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38440) - you deserved it (4270)

On 09/18/2013 at 5:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I started my new job. Only after I met my new boss did I realise I've met him before. He was at my friend's party last month, the only time in my life when I got so wasted that I danced on a table before puking on myself. He remembers me, too. FML

#20886598
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38472) - you deserved it (10136)

On 09/18/2013 at 2:31pm - work - by Anoymous (woman) - Slovakia (Bratislava)

Today, my boss decided that we no longer have to clock out for cigarette breaks, but we do for toilet breaks. I'm the only non-smoker on my floor, and I'm getting penalised for it. FML

#20886555
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38615) - you deserved it (2575)

On 09/18/2013 at 1:48pm - work - by Anon - United Kingdom

Today, I was uninvited to a bachelorette party. I wouldn't really care, if the party hadn't been for me, ahead of my wedding tomorrow. FML

#20885218
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43514) - you deserved it (3381)

On 09/17/2013 at 1:52pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I called work crying, telling them that I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow due to my grandmother's sudden and tragic death. After hanging up, I walked into the midnight release of Grand Theft Auto 5. I had no idea my boss was also an avid gamer. FML

#20884742
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17838) - you deserved it (88054)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:36am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML

#20883807
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42136) - you deserved it (7430)

On 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by meganmagee (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, one of my online friends told me he's bought a plane ticket, so he can come visit me. I've told him multiple times before that I'm uncomfortable with this idea, but he keeps telling me to stop joking, and reminding me that he'll have no other place to stay. FML



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