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Maleficus

Offline (the 08/28/2014 at 2:44am) | Search for a member

Maleficus

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1248
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Maleficus's page activity

Visits<b>TaylorWhiteGirl</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 11:18pm<b>notabeachbabe</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 6:55pm<b>HelloooooNurse</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 4:53pm

Maleficus's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of Maleficus's badges

Maleficus's favorite FMLs

Today, my car keys are in my house and my house keys are in my car, and I'm in neither. FML

#20943997
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46952) - you deserved it (8452)

On 11/03/2013 at 3:18pm - misc - by Argh (man) - France (Poitou-Charentes)

Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML

#20943580
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49273) - you deserved it (6329)

On 11/03/2013 at 9:22am - kids - by KittyKat (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I told my girlfriend I loved her. She left and never came back. FML

#20943458
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50197) - you deserved it (5226)

On 11/03/2013 at 4:57am - love - by Whatswrongwithme? (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

#20942769
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57511) - you deserved it (6011)

On 11/02/2013 at 5:10pm - kids - by unknown (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend left me for another girl. My dad's reaction to the news and my tears was to say, "Aww. Gonna write a song about it, Taylor Swift?" FML

#20942725
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52476) - you deserved it (7651)

On 11/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, like every other day, my daughter thinks that degrading skinny people is very "non-conformist" and "edgy". This time, though, a slightly slim girl punched her in the face when she accused her of being anorexic. Now people think I gave my daughter her new black eye. FML

#20942627
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39058) - you deserved it (6182)

On 11/02/2013 at 2:46pm - kids - by curvster daughter (man) - United States

Today, I told the man my girlfriend has been cheating on me with all about her infidelity. He didn't get angry; he just said that he knew, that they were in an open relationship, and that I was pretty stupid to have not figured it out sooner. FML

#20941848
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41170) - you deserved it (5698)

On 11/01/2013 at 9:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86151) - you deserved it (6175)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML

#20941017
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37157) - you deserved it (3282)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by bobosgonnagetyou - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

#20940283
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41744) - you deserved it (8760)

On 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm - kids - by anna (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me over Facebook. Unfortunately, she "accidentally" posted it on my wall instead of sending me a message, so the whole world could see it. My mom liked her post. FML

#20939479
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46758) - you deserved it (3510)

On 10/30/2013 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my 13-year-old daughter thinks the showerhead got her pregnant. FML

Today, my fiancée of 2 years and mother of my son, who is also pregnant with our second son, commented on how lucky two friends getting married were to have found each other. I said that we're just as lucky. She responded, "No. They actually love each other." FML

#20936067
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45287) - you deserved it (4118)

On 10/27/2013 at 8:41pm - love - by failure (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got married. My husband and I had been waiting until marriage to have sex, and when the time came, we started to undress. As I took my bra off, his eyes glazed over, and he fainted. An hour later, all he could say was, "I don't think we're meant to be together." FML

#20936013
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64603) - you deserved it (8557)

On 10/27/2013 at 7:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML

#20934961
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37529) - you deserved it (4001)

On 10/26/2013 at 9:23pm - animals - by Puppy problems - United States (Vermont)



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