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Maleficus

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Maleficus
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 585
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Maleficus's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my 13-year-old daughter thinks the showerhead got her pregnant. FML

Today, my fiancée of 2 years and mother of my son, who is also pregnant with our second son, commented on how lucky two friends getting married were to have found each other. I said that we're just as lucky. She responded, "No. They actually love each other." FML

#20936067
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41999) - you deserved it (3437)

On 10/27/2013 at 8:41pm - love - by failure (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got married. My husband and I had been waiting until marriage to have sex, and when the time came, we started to undress. As I took my bra off, his eyes glazed over, and he fainted. An hour later, all he could say was, "I don't think we're meant to be together." FML

#20936013
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58245) - you deserved it (6898)

On 10/27/2013 at 7:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML

#20934961
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34845) - you deserved it (3405)

On 10/26/2013 at 9:23pm - animals - by Puppy problems - United States (Vermont)

Today, my fiancé's best friend, who will be our best man at our wedding, decided to confess his feelings for me and tell me how he's always dreamed of us eloping together. The wedding is going to be awkward. FML

#20921675
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43981) - you deserved it (2781)

On 10/15/2013 at 4:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend at a dinner with our two families. Not only did she flatly reject me, my dad said, "Good call. He's not ready." FML

#20921216
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45261) - you deserved it (5962)

On 10/15/2013 at 2:49am - love - by notready (man) - Australia

Today, my dad asked me to stop calling him "dad" because it’s too weird for his girlfriend’s kids to hear, because they call him dad. FML

#20901637
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48197) - you deserved it (2019)

On 09/30/2013 at 4:04am - kids - by meens42 - United States

Today, I got paired up with a coworker for a three-month project. All he talks about is how attractive my girlfriend is and what he would do with her. FML

#20901560
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42386) - you deserved it (3166)

On 09/30/2013 at 2:02am - work - by 3 More Months (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work as a cashier, I was scanning cantaloupes. The man buying them then looked me straight in the eye and said, "Nice melons." FML

#20900810
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31545) - you deserved it (3985)

On 09/29/2013 at 5:12pm - work - by Nice Melons (woman) - United States

Today, I found out this girl I had sex with lied to me. They weren't razor burn bumps. And I now have them. FML

#20898893
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50592) - you deserved it (31863)

On 09/28/2013 at 7:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my husband and I switched phones by accident. I've already received several naked pictures from one of his co-workers. FML

#20898640
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56055) - you deserved it (3737)

On 09/28/2013 at 12:08am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, even though I don't necessarily believe in soul mates, I found out my wife does. She met hers a few weeks ago. FML

#20896483
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38977) - you deserved it (2866)

On 09/26/2013 at 2:54am - love - by NotTheSoulMate (man) - United States

Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML

#20889450
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57641) - you deserved it (4792)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:30pm - intimacy - by oops - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

#20889434
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44460) - you deserved it (29539)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML

#20889155
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44754) - you deserved it (3038)

On 09/20/2013 at 5:00pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Szeged)



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