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Maleficus

Offline (the 09/17/2014 at 4:46pm) | Search for a member

Maleficus

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1341
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Maleficus's page activity

Visits<b>TaylorWhiteGirl</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 11:18pm<b>notabeachbabe</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 6:55pm<b>HelloooooNurse</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 4:53pm

Maleficus's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of Maleficus's badges

Maleficus's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother was reading an annual Christmas letter from an old university friend. When she remarked that she could have married him instead of my father, I replied that she wouldn't have had me then. She then said, "Exactly, I could have had his daughter instead." FML

#21002184
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43411) - you deserved it (3614)

On 12/23/2013 at 5:44am - kids - by rejected (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML

#21001182
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48264) - you deserved it (4784)

On 12/22/2013 at 10:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML

#21001045
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51744) - you deserved it (14904)

On 12/22/2013 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband and I were arguing about him not communicating anymore. Instead of talking to me about it, he messages my mom to say, "I'm not mentally strong enough to handle her anymore." FML

#20996890
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37864) - you deserved it (5056)

On 12/18/2013 at 11:44am - love - by Iloverainbows10 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML

#20996147
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45978) - you deserved it (3392)

On 12/17/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by gymgirl - United States (Texas)

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

#20996030
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53855) - you deserved it (7102)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

#20994621
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53049) - you deserved it (2978)

On 12/16/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by confsused - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I feel. She instantly burst out laughing and said "A crush? Dude, what are you, 12?! Hahaha!" FML

#20993484
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42131) - you deserved it (5646)

On 12/15/2013 at 2:16pm - love - by um...no? i don't think so anyway (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I took my younger sister to see Santa for a photo. Santa insisted that I was in the photo too. I wasn't sure why he made such a big deal about it until he groped me while the photo was being taken. FML

Today, I went skiing with a girl I like. On the lift I asked her out. She said no. Halfway up the lift stopped. We were stuck up there for nearly an hour. FML

#20993100
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48047) - you deserved it (5240)

On 12/15/2013 at 3:38am - love - by snowbum69 - United States (Idaho)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML

#20992325
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47940) - you deserved it (8902)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I got the DVD back from a dance concert I did. After watching it, I realised that I had a camel toe through the whole thing. Three and a half hours. FML

#20992052
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40919) - you deserved it (6599)

On 12/14/2013 at 7:00am - misc - by Aggie_De (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He seemed thrilled, and went to buy some wine to celebrate. He left 11 hours ago and won't come back. FML

#20991978
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52388) - you deserved it (7285)

On 12/14/2013 at 2:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister brought a guy home while our parents were out. They had sex in her bedroom. I heard everything. The worst part wasn't her stupidly excessive moaning; it was that the moans sounded eerily similar to a cow mooing. FML

#20991588
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49726) - you deserved it (4560)

On 12/13/2013 at 7:34pm - intimacy - by puking now (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my cousin started sending sarcastic love messages to me. I replied, with even cheesier lines. Then she rang me saying she was so glad I felt the same way. Turns out she wasn't being sarcastic. FML

#20991120
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49497) - you deserved it (8539)

On 12/13/2013 at 10:10am - love - by wth? - United Kingdom (Rotherham)



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