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Maleficus

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Maleficus
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 572
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Maleficus's favorite FMLs

Today, I got the DVD back from a dance concert I did. After watching it, I realised that I had a camel toe through the whole thing. Three and a half hours. FML

#20992052
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38935) - you deserved it (6030)

On 12/14/2013 at 7:00am - misc - by Aggie_De (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He seemed thrilled, and went to buy some wine to celebrate. He left 11 hours ago and won't come back. FML

#20991978
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49348) - you deserved it (6515)

On 12/14/2013 at 2:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister brought a guy home while our parents were out. They had sex in her bedroom. I heard everything. The worst part wasn't her stupidly excessive moaning; it was that the moans sounded eerily similar to a cow mooing. FML

#20991588
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45147) - you deserved it (3955)

On 12/13/2013 at 7:34pm - intimacy - by puking now (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my cousin started sending sarcastic love messages to me. I replied, with even cheesier lines. Then she rang me saying she was so glad I felt the same way. Turns out she wasn't being sarcastic. FML

#20991120
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46321) - you deserved it (7569)

On 12/13/2013 at 10:10am - love - by wth? - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, my girlfriend sent her new boyfriend over to my place to break up with me for her. FML

#20990341
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46325) - you deserved it (2590)

On 12/12/2013 at 4:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, I misplaced my phone at small house party. I found it later, but not before being called a sick bastard by my crush. It seems one of my "friends" sent her a cock pic with my phone, and now she wants nothing to do with me. FML

#20990280
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38359) - you deserved it (4181)

On 12/12/2013 at 4:01pm - love - by spastic hardon (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML

#20989324
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45372) - you deserved it (6886)

On 12/11/2013 at 7:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I finally watched Toy Story 3; I ended up crying when the toys almost die. After the movie, my girlfriend broke up with me because I embarrassed her. FML

#20982712
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42228) - you deserved it (10557)

On 12/06/2013 at 11:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge argument while driving home from visiting family. We pulled into a gas station, and I went inside to grab a drink and cool down. When I came back out, both car and boyfriend were nowhere in sight. It was my car. FML

Today, my wicked mother has been with us for a week. She's already thrown away my daughter's favorite toy, broke my computer, scratched my oak table, stained my most expensive shirt, peed in our bed, and called the attention of the cops by staring at kids in school. She's staying for three months. FML

Today, I was gushing about my love for Disney princesses when someone told me I "definitely needed to calm down." By whom? A four-year-old girl. FML

Today, my neighbor put up an electric fence to keep my five-year-old son out. FML

#20980679
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34103) - you deserved it (10959)

On 12/04/2013 at 5:29pm - kids - by Awkward - United States (Washington)

Today, I just about managed to convince the judge to overlook my client's emotional outbursts in the courtroom, promising that he'd be on his best behavior from now on. An hour later, he screamed "FUCK YOU!" at the judge for telling him to quiet down. I hate my job. FML

#20980593
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39257) - you deserved it (3342)

On 12/04/2013 at 4:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I got a call from the girl I like. I got very excited so I quickly picked up. As it turns out, she was actually prank calling me, pretending to be a "liposuction telemarketer" but forgot to press *67. FML

#20980172
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39390) - you deserved it (2814)

On 12/04/2013 at 3:50am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I lost my phone. I called the number from my friend's phone, hoping I could find it. A guy answered, laughed "Thanks for the phone!" and hung up. FML

#20979337
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44134) - you deserved it (3283)

On 12/03/2013 at 12:54pm - misc - by phonegotlostinthepark - New Zealand (Auckland)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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