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Maleficus

Offline (the 09/17/2014 at 4:46pm) | Search for a member

Maleficus

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1743
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Maleficus's page activity

Visits<b>TaylorWhiteGirl</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 11:18pm<b>notabeachbabe</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 6:55pm<b>HelloooooNurse</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 4:53pm

Maleficus's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of Maleficus's badges

Maleficus's favorite FMLs

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a segway. He still got away. FML

#20606053
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39908) - you deserved it (8704)

On 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand

Today, it has been over 3 months since my housemates ended their 1 month long relationship. He's still creepily obsessed with her. He picked the bathroom lock when I was in the shower and tried to get in, and then called me a "fucking c*nt" when he realised it was me in there, not her. FML

#20604478
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51495) - you deserved it (4003)

On 04/19/2013 at 7:44am - misc - by pleasekillme (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML

#20604154
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47995) - you deserved it (9411)

On 04/19/2013 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to break up with my girlfriend twice. Apparently the first time she thought I was kidding. FML

#20602951
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40269) - you deserved it (6635)

On 04/18/2013 at 6:47pm - love - by RaveCharlie - United States

Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML

#20602422
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43449) - you deserved it (5226)

On 04/18/2013 at 3:30pm - misc - by phonesmuggler (man) - United States

Today, I got ancestry DNA tests for my parents and myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match for my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently, both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped their minds for 35 years. FML

#20600180
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46273) - you deserved it (2893)

On 04/17/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Flora (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I grabbed a pair of pants from the dryer in a hurry, trying to make it to the bank. When I rushed in, I felt something fall down my leg. It was a pair of my mom's granny panties that had been stuck inside my jeans. I kicked them aside, hoping no one would notice. They did. FML

#20599573
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44655) - you deserved it (9621)

On 04/17/2013 at 3:01pm - misc - by pantydropper (woman) - United States

Today, I left my son with my husband while I went to the store. Ten minutes later, my dog was missing a large patch of fur, and neither of them can stop laughing. FML

#20599149
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38893) - you deserved it (7461)

On 04/17/2013 at 11:14am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML

#20598610
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58369) - you deserved it (5673)

On 04/17/2013 at 2:14am - love - by rawdoglyfe69 - United States (Montana)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML

#20596513
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58216) - you deserved it (4781)

On 04/16/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by fucklife - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemed genuinely upset, and had confessed right away, I decided to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really loved her, I would've been more angry." FML

#20596072
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69051) - you deserved it (12172)

On 04/16/2013 at 9:27am - intimacy - by notacaveman (man) - Netherlands

Today, working in customer support, I received a call from a woman who'd just been robbed. My supervisor asked what was taking so long; I told him that she was hysterical. He took my phone and told her to call back when she had her "shit together", then hung up. I take orders from this man. FML

#20595880
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40146) - you deserved it (3586)

On 04/16/2013 at 6:50am - work - by no compassion - United States (Colorado)

Today, it transpired that my mom has been spending her stint in prison trying to play matchmaker for me, going so far as to call one of her finds, "good breeding stock". Apparently, I don't already have enough criminals in my life; last September I was the only member of my family of 5 not locked up. FML

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

#20540243
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32973) - you deserved it (50862) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my 4-year-old daughter couldn't sleep, crying that her teddy bear wants to eat her. My husband thought it would be funny to put the bear right in front of her face while she slept. She's now terrified to sleep anywhere but in our bed. FML

#20539958
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31538) - you deserved it (5883)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland



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