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Maleficus

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Maleficus
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 578
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Maleficus's favorite FMLs

Today, I got my period, and had to rush to my parents' bathroom for some pads. They'd put all our wrapped presents in their bathroom. As I was looking, my dad thought I was opening presents and barged in, only to see me with my pants around my ankles. Now he won't stop laughing. FML

#21003547
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37997) - you deserved it (3127)

On 12/24/2013 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, like every day since I was born, my name is Yarenis, pronounced "ja-ra-nees. For some reason, everybody pronounce it "your anus". FML

#21003362
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36630) - you deserved it (4728)

On 12/24/2013 at 5:45am - misc - by yarenis - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out about my co-workers' new game. Whoever talks to me first loses. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML

#21002970
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37480) - you deserved it (2802)

On 12/23/2013 at 9:48pm - love - by .... (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mother was reading an annual Christmas letter from an old university friend. When she remarked that she could have married him instead of my father, I replied that she wouldn't have had me then. She then said, "Exactly, I could have had his daughter instead." FML

#21002184
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41646) - you deserved it (3415)

On 12/23/2013 at 5:44am - kids - by rejected (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML

#21001182
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46022) - you deserved it (4519)

On 12/22/2013 at 10:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML

#21001045
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46910) - you deserved it (12697)

On 12/22/2013 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband and I were arguing about him not communicating anymore. Instead of talking to me about it, he messages my mom to say, "I'm not mentally strong enough to handle her anymore." FML

#20996890
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36626) - you deserved it (4890)

On 12/18/2013 at 11:44am - love - by Iloverainbows10 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML

#20996147
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44001) - you deserved it (2979)

On 12/17/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by gymgirl - United States (Texas)

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

#20996030
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51970) - you deserved it (6863)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

#20994621
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50672) - you deserved it (2504)

On 12/16/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by confsused - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I feel. She instantly burst out laughing and said "A crush? Dude, what are you, 12?! Hahaha!" FML

#20993484
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39734) - you deserved it (5291)

On 12/15/2013 at 2:16pm - love - by um...no? i don't think so anyway (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I took my younger sister to see Santa for a photo. Santa insisted that I was in the photo too. I wasn't sure why he made such a big deal about it until he groped me while the photo was being taken. FML

Today, I went skiing with a girl I like. On the lift I asked her out. She said no. Halfway up the lift stopped. We were stuck up there for nearly an hour. FML

#20993100
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46438) - you deserved it (5062)

On 12/15/2013 at 3:38am - love - by snowbum69 - United States (Idaho)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML

#20992325
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42890) - you deserved it (7376)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -



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Thursday 10 April 2014

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