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Maleficus

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Maleficus

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  • Number of visits : 1160
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Maleficus's page activity

Visits<b>TaylorWhiteGirl</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 11:18pm<b>notabeachbabe</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 6:55pm<b>HelloooooNurse</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 4:53pm

Maleficus's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of Maleficus's badges

Maleficus's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a comedy show with my mom, and they asked the audience members to yell out their problems as ideas for an improv skit. My mom yelled, "My daughter can't get a boyfriend!" FML

#21222137
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37854) - you deserved it (3779)

On 07/27/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by Yeppets (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML

#21222062
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44886) - you deserved it (5192)

On 07/27/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by fingwhore (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was really upset and the girl I like saw me. She told me what a great guy I am and that I deserve to be happy. With any other girl but her. FML

#21202480
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40322) - you deserved it (3998)

On 07/08/2014 at 2:04am - love - by SadlyNotMe - United States

Today, my husband told me he was going to search from store to store in order to find my birthday gift. What was he really doing? His girlfriend. FML

#21202458
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46334) - you deserved it (3608)

On 07/08/2014 at 1:41am - love - by rozsrredd (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML

#21199713
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46052) - you deserved it (14190)

On 07/05/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Rowansgonnarow -

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

#21199559
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44250) - you deserved it (7053)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML

#21199096
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44629) - you deserved it (8989)

On 07/05/2014 at 12:26am - intimacy - by bad in the sack - United States

Today, my dad finished installing our new home security system. One of the features lets him control any light in the house from his phone. He keeps trying to piss me off by turning my bedroom light on at random intervals. I don't know how to make it stop, and I can't sleep. FML

#21196465
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46457) - you deserved it (4462)

On 07/02/2014 at 5:52pm - misc - by pissed off (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41324) - you deserved it (23350)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I overheard my mother talking to her friend, and using me as an example of how it's sometimes best to swallow. FML

#21196146
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44438) - you deserved it (4571)

On 07/02/2014 at 11:54am - intimacy - by unwanted daughter (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a girl from his class to say goodbye. His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh. FML

Today, my cousin asked me what it's like to be so fat. I chastised him and said that was a rude thing to ask. He apologized, then asked me what it's like to be such a pussy. He didn't stop until he, a 10 year old kid, had reduced me, a 26 year old woman, to tears. FML

#21190580
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41443) - you deserved it (7441)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:57pm - kids - by keelah (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54703) - you deserved it (7688)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. FML

#21181955
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52764) - you deserved it (5162)

On 06/20/2014 at 2:20pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML

#21180887
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44741) - you deserved it (4638)

On 06/19/2014 at 5:05pm - love - by Fuck you, Dad. Fuck you. (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)



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