Malaci

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Malaci

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 818
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Malaci's FML badges

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Malaci's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of me freaking out and him explaining how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was the best thus far. FML

by youreajoker / 11/10/2010 at 5:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, at Burger King, I had to go to the bathroom. Two ketchup packets were under the seat and exploded on my legs and pants when I sat down. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2010 at 4:03am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going to my first job interview since I was laid off. About 10 yards from the door, I felt a sharp pain in my side and something in my pocket. It turned out to be a knife in my side, and a mugger robbing me because I looked rich. I haven't had any money in months, and missed the interview. FML

by Anonymous / 10/22/2010 at 12:00am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I bought a new Ipod to replace my old one which decided to stop working. After purchasing my new nano Ipod, I decided to bang my old Ipod on the desk very hard because it was useless. It started working again. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2010 at 11:51am / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Geek

Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman asked me what came on a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. Trying not to laugh, I respond, "Bacon, egg, and cheese." She then realizes the stupidity of her question, and launches three dollars worth of quarters at my face and says, "Laugh at that, jerk." FML

by lyssuhhhh / 09/26/2010 at 7:14pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML

by Anonymous / 09/24/2010 at 10:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML

by yogapants / 09/24/2010 at 4:21pm / Switzerland (Zurich) / Health

Today, there were a few loud and annoying kids running around my store. My coworker and I started talking and I jokingly stated "Yeah, kids ruin everything." But before I could get out "God knows I'm not ready to be a dad," my phone rang. It was my one night stand. I'm going to be a daddy. FML

by Anonymous / 09/24/2010 at 7:25am / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, my dad borrowed my new iPad to amuse him while he was in the shower without my knowledge. The iPad is now completely ruined, and my dad is refusing to buy me a new one. He says, "How was I to know that it wasn't waterproof?" FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2010 at 4:39pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Geek

Today, I decided to go for a run to try and work on getting in shape. Nine steps in, I slipped in some slimy moss, almost broke my hip on the pavement and gashed open my elbow. I'll be surprised if I can walk straight in the morning. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2010 at 8:11am / Japan / Health

Today, at work I was bored so I started to doodle on MS paint. My boss walks by and asks me to join him in his office. When I do so, he fires me for drawing offensive material. I drew a rainbow. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2010 at 9:31pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I took my dogs to an empty park. While they were running around, I laid down in the grass to read a book. Someone thought I was a dead body and called the cops. The police and paramedics showed up. This is the second time it's happened. FML

by tracie / 09/21/2010 at 8:00pm / United States (Kansas) / Animals

Today, I went to a museum that had exhibits of wax people in the hallways. We were taking pictures of what we thought to be a waxwork old lady. Turns out she was real. FML

by yourmom / 09/21/2010 at 1:46am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML

by awesome / 09/21/2010 at 12:49am / United States (Arizona) / Animals

Today, I dropped my iPod Touch underneath concrete slab steps, and it's physically impossible to get it back. If you stand above where the iPod is, you can still hear it play music. It's like it's mocking me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2010 at 7:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek