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Makena

Offline (the 09/25/2014 at 10:10pm) | Search for a member

Makena

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 September 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 316
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Makena's page activity

Visits<b>duckman9</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 1:33am<b>Kar0</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 4:45pm<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 11:46pm

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Makena's favorite FMLs

Today, while working as a cashier, a really cute guy came up and said, "Hi Morgan". I freaked out and asked him how he knew my name. He then replied, "You have a name tag". FML

#20874687
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31774) - you deserved it (17441)

On 09/09/2013 at 5:51pm - work - by anon -

Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML

#20867249
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32951) - you deserved it (10348)

On 09/04/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by interphaseprophasemetaphase (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

#20841635
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54847) - you deserved it (4580)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by fsfs (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34272) - you deserved it (2766)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44634) - you deserved it (3893)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my live-in-boyfriend lost his job. Jokingly, I told him that we weren't going to have sex until he found a new job. He then turned to me with the most excited look I have ever seen on his face and said "I am going to stay unemployed forever!" He was serious. FML

#19987101
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27126) - you deserved it (8321)

On 07/27/2012 at 9:45am - intimacy - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
583 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13357) - you deserved it (54619) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28955) - you deserved it (18119)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

#19270252
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30103) - you deserved it (7442)

On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34379) - you deserved it (6026)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a letter of complaint from my landlord. It said my loud, obnoxious trampling is disturbing my downstairs neighbor, and I have to stop. I'm small and hardly weigh anything, but it seems that if I want to keep my lease, I'll have to master the art of levitating. FML

#18281989
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26625) - you deserved it (2843)

On 11/18/2011 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I got a text message from a number I don't know saying "I'm sorry, but I'm cheating on you, I couldn't do this in person because you're ugly when you cry." I haven't had a relationship in 6 years and I still manage to get dumped. FML

#17584361
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36611) - you deserved it (2750)

On 08/26/2011 at 7:09am - love - by j_babydoll6520 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was with my boyfriend and I said that I was self-conscious of my acne. He told me that only one of my zits was noticeable and that it wasn't so bad. In fact he said it looked cool, like a bullet wound or something "awesome" like that. FML

#17544158
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26301) - you deserved it (4815)

On 08/22/2011 at 12:58am - health - by collball22 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was with my boyfriend and I said that I was self-conscious of my acne. He told me that only one of my zits was noticeable and that it wasn't so bad. In fact he said it looked cool, like a bullet wound or something "awesome" like that. FML

#17544158
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26301) - you deserved it (4815)

On 08/22/2011 at 12:58am - health - by collball22 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was bored and all alone while cleaning at work. This led me to start passionately doing a ballet dance in the empty corridor. I promptly stopped as I remembered the surveillance cameras. FML

#17490024
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21493) - you deserved it (10038)

On 08/16/2011 at 12:55pm - work - by secret dancer (woman) - Sweden (Jonkopings Lan)



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