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About MakeMeAnonymous : o_O me?
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was browsing my computer to find naked pictures of my ex-girlfriend. I decided it'd be funny to photoshop a penis onto one of the pictures. I'm straight and the new picture turned me on more than before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8857) - you deserved it (43487)
On 06/18/2009 at 7:39pm - love - by AlexK (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13396) - you deserved it (40980)
On 06/03/2009 at 1:23am - love - by boinger (man) - United States (California)
Today, on my last break, a lady comes up to me and asks if she could have a hug because I reminded her of her daughter that died in a car accident 3 years before. Touched, I called my mom to let her know that I loved her. Before I could tell her, she said it was probably a scam and hung up on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34902) - you deserved it (1844)
On 05/08/2009 at 3:22am - misc - by bumgirl - United States (California)
Today, I was eating at Applebees at a high table with bar stools. I was reaching over to get some gum out of mom's purse when my chair flipped out from under me and my soda fell on top of me and got in my ear. To make things worse, the waiter ran over and shouted "I give that one a 10!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35408) - you deserved it (5897)
On 04/28/2009 at 9:39pm - misc - by kate (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was talking to a guy I met online and have known for 4 years. I've fallen in love with him twice, one of those times being currently. He was supposed to visit this summer. I got an email from him saying he's really a 17 year old girl from Chesterfield, MO. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24234) - you deserved it (67950)
On 04/14/2009 at 9:45am - love - by oxbbabexo (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I saw my train pulling in to the station. I sprinted up the stairs and luckily made the train. I looked around and no one was in my compartment. I began to notice that the train was heading down some tracks I'd never been too. I got stuck on an empty train for 3 hours in the train garage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46206) - you deserved it (9887)
On 04/08/2009 at 8:49am - misc - by bkeiya (man) - Japan (Kanagawa)
Today, I feared my mother had seen the bottle of hand lotion i forgot to take off the computer desk after i masturbated last night, but she acted fine. I went out with friends to find she had changed the backgroud to say "Please Do Not Watch Porn on the Family Computer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6751) - you deserved it (45070)
On 04/08/2009 at 12:34am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML
I agree, your life sucks (56678) - you deserved it (19755)
On 03/13/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (363128) - you deserved it (401478)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to the ER for severe pain in my abdominal area. The doctor comes in after looking at the CT scan and says, "Well it's not your appendix." Thinking I'm in the clear I say, "That's Awesome", the doctor then responded with "It's probably your testicles." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48515) - you deserved it (1454)
On 03/06/2009 at 7:43pm - health - by 06SuFi (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (285000) - you deserved it (55501)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was debating weed legalization in drug awareness. I was thoroughly unleashing arguments: how marijuana turns normal citizens into criminals, how the government spends billions to enforce drug laws, when I lost my train of thought. My teacher grinned saying, "My point exactly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10226) - you deserved it (36067)
On 03/04/2009 at 11:21pm - health - by katzperiod (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, it was really cold and windy and I started my car before work. I locked the front door of my house and shut it behind me to leave. The wind was blowing and all my hair got shut in my locked front door... with my keys in my car's ignition. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36902) - you deserved it (3792)
On 02/25/2009 at 10:09am - misc - by wheels - United States (Maryland)
Today, I tried to befriend the lonely boy who sits at the end of my table at lunch. He always sleeps or does homework during lunch. I walked over to him, tripped, and spilled my open bottle of water on his jeans. I then preceded to apologize profusely and wiped off his pants with napkins. He got hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20190) - you deserved it (6804)
On 01/31/2009 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by brighteyes - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11226) - you deserved it (50020)
On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States
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