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Makarov

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Makarov

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  • Number of visits : 23
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Makarov's favorite FMLs

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

#20104739
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26941) - you deserved it (6938)

On 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm - kids - by TheVirginJenny - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home from a three day vacation to find my psycho ex-girlfriend in my house. Even though I broke up with her six months ago, she hasn't broken up with me. It's alright though, she says she's going to forgive me and she already moved her stuff in when I was out of town. FML

#20103889
138 comments

Today, my parents told me that I will grow up to be a criminal, living on the streets, on drugs. All this because I took the last chocolate egg. FML

#19443098
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27004) - you deserved it (4935)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - misc - by uhhh what? - United States (Washington)

Today, my mother refused to agree with any of my logic because it's "not in the bible." She can't find any fault with it, just refuses to agree with it. FML

#18491366
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24838) - you deserved it (3467)

On 12/12/2011 at 1:00am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28007) - you deserved it (11479)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

#17145702
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34559) - you deserved it (7585)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized the closest thing I have to guys hitting on me are the ones who ask to be my friend on Call of Duty because I have the word "girl" in my name. FML

#7035210
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24801) - you deserved it (6147)

On 12/30/2009 at 12:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I came home and found out that my new roommate, who smokes half a pack of cigarettes a day and drinks heavily 5 nights a week, had smashed my $300 bong because "weed is a horrible and deadly drug that will kill you slowly." FML



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