About Majstr : I love turtles.
Majstr's FML badges
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
50 quality responses
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100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Majstr's favorite FMLs
Today, while I was looking for a file on my boyfriend's hard drive, I came across photos of a half-naked woman wearing my clothes, but whose head wasn't really visible. When I demanded an explanation, I realised that it wasn't another girl - it was him. FML
Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he went up the stairs, "It stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the bin. We can eat sandwiches. FML
Today, I woke up beside a disgusting guy I didn't know. He told me he was the best friend of the handsome guy I was hitting on yesterday evening. I can't remember at which point I got mislead into bringing the wrong one home. FML
by james / 12/14/2008 at 8:14am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I asked my husband of 15 years to get a vasectomy, as he's said for the past 13 we are done… Today, I had to drive my sister home. We drove the half hour south to get to my Dad's, only to get… Today, I was playing video games when my balls felt itchy. I had been sick for the past few days so…