Majstr

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Majstr

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 19 October 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2546
  • Number of comments : 122
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Majstr : I love turtles.

Majstr's page activity

Visits<b>rhiley</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 3:54am<b>Pikathedoge</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 8:13pm<b>tzemmy</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 1:18am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 12:04pm<b>Journiexo</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 8:30am<b>Spyingcheeseman</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 7:17am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 11:47pm<b>wyguy89</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 1:57am<b>ttqq</b> - the 01/05/2013 at 4:00pm<b>winterforever97</b> - the 12/28/2011 at 11:20pm<b>Worrisome</b> - the 11/25/2011 at 11:33pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 11/17/2011 at 8:36am<b>FYLDeep</b> - the 11/16/2011 at 7:58pm<b>yankfan89</b> - the 11/16/2011 at 10:02am<b>J_Camille</b> - the 11/03/2011 at 2:33pm<b>Kiirst_mt1994</b> - the 11/02/2011 at 3:11pm<b>THE_A_TEEN</b> - the 11/02/2011 at 1:45pm<b>Eaglestrike117</b> - the 10/15/2011 at 10:13am

Majstr's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of Majstr's badges

Majstr's favorite FMLs

Today, I was about to make love to my girlfriend at the local park when a cop caught us. I had to give him our information and hold a conversation with "Fire and Ice" lubricant on my penis. FML

by Khrixas_069 / 06/18/2011 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

by no one / 05/21/2011 at 5:07am / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy

Today, I locked myself in the bathroom and started spanking the ferret. I started to get really into it when my dad started pounding on the door and yelled, "Son, that's great staying power, but can you finish up already?" FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2011 at 2:09pm / Saudi Arabia / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

by dickface / 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML

Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML

by anti-drugs / 03/21/2011 at 6:57am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

by Anonymous / 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend called me to come over because we "needed to talk." Going down the stairs, I tripped and fell. I woke up from unconsciousness with a hurting leg and my boyfriend standing over me. Just as I was about to smile and ask for a kiss, he said, "Maybe we should take a break" and left. FML

by Yes / 11/24/2009 at 11:08am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

by treegirl / 07/26/2009 at 1:57am / United States / Love

Today, I found out that just because your boyfriend asks you to marry him doesn't mean that he will show up at the wedding. FML

by Loveless / 07/19/2009 at 9:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

by badmom / 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love