About Mahtari : I shitpost and pretend to be Japanese.
Mahtari's FML badges
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mahtari's favorite FMLs
Today, I saw a shady looking person on the street. As I walked past him, he said, "Hey, come here." Thinking he needed something, I went over. He handed me several pictures of my wife, in public and at home. I've never seen this man before in my life. FML
by ahappypenguin / 09/26/2012 at 12:07am / Miscellaneous
Today, my estranged mother texted me saying, "Gran died, LOL." My grandmother and I were fairly close, so I was shocked and disgusted. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked if she knew what "LOL" meant. She did. FML
by burn in hell / 09/25/2012 at 5:28pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML
by N/A / 09/25/2012 at 12:13am / Canada (Alberta) / Health
by Fingkids / 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm / United States / Kids
Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML
by Grauncho / 09/22/2012 at 10:12am / United States (Illinois) / Animals
Today, my roommate came out of the bathroom, and asked me how the scales knew her weight in both pounds and kilos, even though "the exchange rate is always changing." I actually live with this idiot. FML
by ak_6694 / 09/22/2012 at 3:29am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. My dad noticed my depression and got me to tell him what was wrong. I told him everything, and trusting him to have an intelligent suggestion, I asked him what I should do. He shrugged and said, "Fuck, sue him, I dunno." FML
by Pissed / 09/21/2012 at 7:20pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by hopelesscollegestudent / 09/21/2012 at 12:22pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
by dateless / 09/21/2012 at 7:48am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love
by scarred for life / 09/21/2012 at 6:57am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML
by RawrSparkle / 09/21/2012 at 3:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML
by Anonymous / 09/21/2012 at 12:51am / United States / Kids
by tiredeolfatty / 09/20/2012 at 10:40pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
Today, I helped my friend, who is a slob, move out of my house. I found the source of the funky smell she's been complaining about, under her bed. It was her vibrator. I found it with my bare hands. I had to bleach my hands twice and I still don't feel clean. FML
by MistressSuzuka / 09/20/2012 at 8:05pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML
by Judy / 09/19/2012 at 7:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids