Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Mahtari

Online | Search for a member

Mahtari

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9261
  • Number of comments : 116
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Mahtari : I'm filthy.

Mahtari's page activity

Visits<b>Supersid333</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 4:09pm<b>FlamingJazkinz</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 1:54am<b>helen_ellexo</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 12:49am<b>Tezoma</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 4:15pm<b>hamzor</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 4:28pm<b>mollyjynxjax</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 7:43pm<b>iMeowchu</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 6:28pm<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 12:40am<b>STOspartan</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 3:03pm<b>CHabib</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 12:18am<b>shmaowzow</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 10:25pm<b>nicole_is_bunny</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 8:06am<b>talesoftheold</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 6:09am<b>stay18k</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 1:43am<b>Rainbow_dumpster</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 6:41am<b>CaptMurdock</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 12:11pm<b>Link5794</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 11:27am<b>neeni88</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 1:17am

Mahtari's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Mahtari's badges

Mahtari's favorite FMLs

Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML

#20083358
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23079) - you deserved it (3288)

On 09/22/2012 at 10:12am - animals - by Grauncho - United States (Illinois)

Today, my roommate came out of the bathroom, and asked me how the scales knew her weight in both pounds and kilos, even though "the exchange rate is always changing." I actually live with this idiot. FML

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. My dad noticed my depression and got me to tell him what was wrong. I told him everything, and trusting him to have an intelligent suggestion, I asked him what I should do. He shrugged and said, "Fuck, sue him, I dunno." FML

#20082521
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22013) - you deserved it (2624)

On 09/21/2012 at 7:20pm - love - by Pissed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I asked my college chemistry teacher for some much-needed help. Instead of explaining anything to me, she scoffed that if I don't understand something, I should "just Google it." FML

#20082065
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21451) - you deserved it (1834)

On 09/21/2012 at 12:22pm - misc - by hopelesscollegestudent - Canada

Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML

#20081871
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22710) - you deserved it (2165)

On 09/21/2012 at 7:48am - love - by dateless (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML

#20081849
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29348) - you deserved it (3394)

On 09/21/2012 at 6:57am - work - by scarred for life - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

#20081762
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24454) - you deserved it (13237)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML

#20081621
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28939) - you deserved it (3052)

On 09/21/2012 at 12:51am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was having a race with a little kid. I let him win to make him feel like a champion. After the race, he turned to me and said, "Maybe if you weren't so fat you would have won." FML

#20081429
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23556) - you deserved it (4034)

On 09/20/2012 at 10:40pm - kids - by tiredeolfatty (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I helped my friend, who is a slob, move out of my house. I found the source of the funky smell she's been complaining about, under her bed. It was her vibrator. I found it with my bare hands. I had to bleach my hands twice and I still don't feel clean. FML

#20081199
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34831) - you deserved it (2550)

On 09/20/2012 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by MistressSuzuka (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML

#20079735
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24117) - you deserved it (2787)

On 09/19/2012 at 7:33pm - kids - by Judy - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62627) - you deserved it (3327)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, a stranger called me, saying I look hot in the bra I was wearing. When I hung up, thinking it was a joke, I opened the back door, and saw a man running away from my backyard. FML

#20079219
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32027) - you deserved it (2114)

On 09/19/2012 at 1:02pm - misc - by jitiizer (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house. She'd told me not to ring the doorbell and just come in so that I wouldn't wake her dad up. As I walked upstairs, her father walked out of the bathroom naked. We locked eyes. I can't get the image out of my head. FML

#20078726
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20829) - you deserved it (3040)

On 09/19/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Burntintomyretinas - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found a Justin Bieber shrine in my daughter's closet. FML

#20077908
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31423) - you deserved it (3717)

On 09/18/2012 at 3:51pm - kids - by unfortunateMother (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: