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Magmasliver

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Magmasliver
  • Town/Country : San Diego, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 27 April 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 171
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Magmasliver's favorite FMLs

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46610) - you deserved it (4064)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, a teenage girl bumped into me and my phone fell out of my hands, and over the Golden Gate Bridge. FML

#21081896
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52457) - you deserved it (5004)

On 03/09/2014 at 1:08am - misc - by Seriously? - United States (California)

Today, I have exactly 204 snowflakes saved onto my computer, all of which I made on this snowflake-making website. This is what my life has come to. FML

#21076482
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30478) - you deserved it (8400)

On 03/03/2014 at 12:18am - misc - by ealovan - United States (Iowa)

Today, my mother-in-law called me every 2 hours, starting at 8pm and stopping at 10am the following morning. She says that since my wife and I are expecting our first child, I should "get used to waking up at all hours." She calls my work phone, which I'm not allowed to switch off. FML

Today, my girlfriend told me the reason why my credit card mysteriously maxed out 2 months ago 'might have been' because she posted a picture of it on Facebook. I ordered a new credit card without the custom picture of us immediately. She broke up with me. FML

#21035364
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48739) - you deserved it (5351)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:59pm - love - by FacebookStrikesAgain (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, after working my shift at McDonalds, I went to clock in at my dispatch job. During a 911 call, I blurted, "Would you like to try the McRib while it's back?" FML

#21023934
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44412) - you deserved it (8167)

On 01/10/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML

#20965644
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53390) - you deserved it (11422)

On 11/21/2013 at 11:10am - misc - by smooth (man) - United States

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

#20952633
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34128) - you deserved it (2905)

On 11/10/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by fuck you, bitchcake (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, at 6 in the morning, I sneezed so hard I fell off my bed. I guess I'm up for the day. FML

#20898877
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34562) - you deserved it (3992)

On 09/28/2013 at 6:53am - misc - by blackcat37 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

#20865755
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38299) - you deserved it (6364)

On 09/03/2013 at 4:17am - health - by NoNotCats =^._.^= (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47873) - you deserved it (10277)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51504) - you deserved it (3710)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51504) - you deserved it (3710)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

#20741232
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47221) - you deserved it (10911)

On 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I lost my car keys, so I asked my ex-husband if he still had his spare to my car. He said he'd send it. I got an empty envelope with a troll face on it. There's a reason I left him. FML

#20738006
121 comments


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