MagicGiraffe

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MagicGiraffe

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2206
  • Number of comments : 252
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About MagicGiraffe : I'm an 19 year old boy who's trying to figure out who he is.
I you ever want to get to know me or just talk, feel free to message me.
I don't bite, only nibble. ;)

MagicGiraffe's page activity

Visits<b>KiaraLache</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 4:59pm<b>venomousddog</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 1:13am<b>hackint0sh1</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 10:08am<b>mistykitten</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 6:46am<b>RawrPancaked</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 2:58pm<b>britbear0731</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 12:52am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 5:57am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 6:25am<b>redrain567</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 1:54pm<b>facelick</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 5:33pm<b>kellbell12</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 1:05pm<b>kc_chocochip</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 2:49pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 6:38pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 11:48pm<b>slacarter</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 6:22am<b>Snake1105</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 5:01pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 9:55am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 10:07pm

Fucked!<b>HowlingFire</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 6:27pm<b>TiggyBonkers</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 2:21pm<b>Snake1105</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 12:32am<b>DXWarrior00</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 3:21pm

MagicGiraffe's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

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MagicGiraffe's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to teach my dog tricks. Somehow, I thought it would be easier if I physically showed my dog how to roll, so I rolled on the floor in front of my dog. My sister recorded me and posted it on Facebook. Now everyone thinks I'm an idiot and my dog still can't roll. FML

by bonertoolong / 11/23/2011 at 3:19am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I realized that it has been so long since my wife and I were intimate that I got slightly turned on watching her suck the meat off chicken wings. I'm jealous of fried, sauce-soaked poultry. FML

by therevsev / 10/02/2011 at 2:05am / United States / Intimacy

Today, while I was on the bus, my foot fell asleep. When we arrived at my stop, I stood up and limped to the front of the bus. As I walked down the steps, I tripped, fell, and smashed my nose into the ground. The driver just laughed and drove away. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2011 at 11:41pm / United States (Missouri) / Transportation

Today, I got pulled over for distracted driving. Not for cell phone use but for nose picking and inspecting. FML

by jj4320 / 09/17/2011 at 4:37am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I went to lunch with my sister. As the waitress was bringing our food, she dropped it on the floor. She apologized and brought us new food. After we finished eating and I looked at the bill, I noticed she'd charged us twice. FML

by Username / 09/16/2011 at 12:26pm / United States / Money

Today, my husband told me the only reason we're still together is because he can't afford to move out. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Colorado) / Money

Today, my mom put me in an anger management class because I said "crap." FML

by siikman313 / 09/12/2011 at 5:37pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I was with my boyfriend and I said that I was self-conscious of my acne. He told me that only one of my zits was noticeable and that it wasn't so bad. In fact he said it looked cool, like a bullet wound or something "awesome" like that. FML

by collball22 / 08/22/2011 at 12:58am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident. One of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "asshole" afterwards. FML

by Kathryn / 08/13/2011 at 6:31am / Belgium / Kids

Today, my father tricked me into eating a Tasmanian habanero, saying it was just another pepper. The burning in my mouth was unbearable, but nothing compared to when I took a shit later in the day. FML

by Coldsnap / 08/12/2011 at 1:25pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2011 at 6:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend showed me his penis for the first time. All I could think to say was, "That's a clean circumcision." FML

by plantfood / 08/06/2011 at 2:35am / United States / Intimacy

Today, the guy I've had the biggest crush on came to my house to pick me up for our first date. As we were leaving, my father screams out "Do you still have diarrhea?" I don't have diarrhea. My dad thinks he's so funny. FML

by Anon / 08/04/2011 at 4:30am / United States (Nevada) / Love

Today, a customer threw his cup of coffee at me screaming that it wasn't hot enough. Well, maybe it wasn't hot enough for him, but it was sure hot enough to burn me. FML

by localbarista / 08/03/2011 at 7:46pm / United States (Washington) / Work