MagicGiraffe

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MagicGiraffe

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2285
  • Number of comments : 252
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About MagicGiraffe : I'm an 19 year old boy who's trying to figure out who he is.
I you ever want to get to know me or just talk, feel free to message me.
I don't bite, only nibble. ;)

MagicGiraffe's page activity

Visits<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 6:19pm<b>Dr_Awesome654</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 6:04pm<b>kennakates</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 11:02pm<b>KiaraLache</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 4:59pm<b>venomousddog</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 1:13am<b>hackint0sh1</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 10:08am<b>mistykitten</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 6:46am<b>RawrPancaked</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 2:58pm<b>britbear0731</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 12:52am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 6:25am<b>redrain567</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 1:54pm<b>facelick</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 5:33pm<b>kellbell12</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 1:05pm<b>kc_chocochip</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 2:49pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 6:38pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 11:48pm<b>slacarter</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 6:22am<b>Snake1105</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 5:01pm

Fucked!<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 3:33pm<b>HowlingFire</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 6:27pm<b>TiggyBonkers</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 2:21pm<b>Snake1105</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 12:32am<b>DXWarrior00</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 3:21pm

MagicGiraffe's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

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MagicGiraffe's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought a new car, and before I left, the dealer offered to help me set up the sync. I agreed, but I really wish I'd remembered that my Bluetooth name is TitsMcGee. FML

by embarassedmuch / 10/30/2012 at 12:05am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

by CutestBoysEver / 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2012 at 12:17pm / Philippines (Manila) / Kids

Today, after waking up from a drunken night, I realized the burning sensation I had from the lube during sex was because I used hand sanitizer. FML

by MIND BLOWING / 10/20/2012 at 9:57am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I walked into work, after having given my boss a weather prediction last week, so he could decide on which day to open a new company division. I was immediately taken aside and written up for "providing false information, adversley impacting morale". FML

by johnnyfuckfacer / 10/18/2012 at 3:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, the police searched my house because my neighbors thought we were aiming a gun with laser sight at them. We were only getting our daft dog to chase a laser light around; we don't even own any guns. FML

by triple l / 10/15/2012 at 4:33am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while coming out of Walmart, I dropped a $50 bill. Some kid came running up after me yelling, "Hey mister, you dropped this!" as he ran past me laughing. FML

by dhbeaver / 03/17/2012 at 9:04am / United States (Virginia) / Money

Today, I was jamming out and playing some air guitar. I somehow managed to knee myself directly in my left eye socket. I now have a hideously swollen face and a black eye. When people ask me what happened, I'll be hesitant to tell the truth. FML

by wtf / 03/08/2012 at 4:03am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I received the results of the exams that I re-took in order to improve my grades. I got exactly the same grades as before in all four exams. Point for point identical. FML

by stuckonrepeat / 03/08/2012 at 3:06am / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Work

Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML

by Jarryd / 02/10/2012 at 12:40am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML

by Jarryd / 02/10/2012 at 12:40am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, my kitchen nearly burned down because the fire alarm didn't detect the plumes of smoke wafting through the kitchen. This is the same alarm that wails when I use the toaster. FML

by Lea / 01/16/2012 at 3:18pm / Denmark (Sjelland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm on a medication that really dehydrates my skin. I thought split lips were the worst side effects. Other split orifices make a trip to the toilet a literal pain in the arse. No sign of stopping in the near future. FML

by ouch / 12/20/2011 at 7:46am / Australia (Western Australia) / Health

Today, I was giving a presentation at work, when I said, "But we could care less about that." My boss asked if I meant, "Couldn't care less." Wanting to avoid embarrassment, I tried to think up an excuse, only to end up blurting that it was my phone's auto-correct. FML

by sharon / 12/14/2011 at 4:21pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I was fired. For "lack of attention to details", specifically spelling errors. My now ex-boss misspelled the name of his own company on my severance agreement. FML

by JadeC / 12/01/2011 at 1:55pm / United States (New York) / Work